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When I was kid, and we'd go sledding on a cold snowy day, Ya know how often I had to rub my hands together to stay warm?

Intermittenly.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What am I doing with the rest of my life?

I don't even know what I'm doing with the rest of this tweet...

How do you know when your dog is a bad hot dog?

When it's pure bread.

Rub Jokes More Rub Jokes

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

What do you do for a pig with sore muscles?

Rub him with oinkment.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do you have if you have a mothball in one hand, and a mothball in the other hand?

A really big moth!

Where can a hand refuel its car?

At a fist pump.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

How did Jesus stay in shape?

Crossfit

What does it mean to be an Agnostic with insomnia and dyslexia?

You stay up all night wondering if there is a dog.

Ya Jokes More Ya Jokes

What did the cocaine addict say to his drug of choice?

I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....

What do I owe ya?

Asks the neutron. "For you No charge."

Sle Jokes More Sle Jokes

Why do the lawyers for the reindeer say they have to pull Santa's sled?

Because they have a claus in their contract.

When I was kid, and we'd go sledding on a cold snowy day, Ya know how often I had to rub my hands together to stay warm?

Intermittenly.