When I was kid, and we'd go sledding on a cold snowy day, Ya know how often I had to rub my hands together to stay warm?

Intermittenly.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know which bear to talk to in a bar?

You have to read ursine.

How do you know if you're a necrophiliac?

You get mourning wood.

Rub Jokes More Rub Jokes

Why was the whiteboard angry with the Eraser?

The Eraser had rubbed the Whiteboard the wrong way.

What do you get when you rub two orange juice boxes together?

Pulp friction.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How is a judge like an English teacher?

They both hand out long sentences.

What are the pros and cons of wearing two watches?

On one hand, you have a watch... But on the other hand, you have a watch.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

Why does the bad guy always have to know some form of martial art?

Why cant they just throw stuff while screaming "stay away from me!"

What always stays hot in the refrigerator?

Horseradish

Ya Jokes More Ya Jokes

What'll ya have?

Cat: Shot of rum. Bartender pours it Cat slowly pushes it off the bar Cat: Another.

What can I get ya?

And in a very raspy voice the fish says, "WATER"

Sle Jokes More Sle Jokes

Why do the lawyers for the reindeer say they have to pull Santa's sled?

Because they have a claus in their contract.

Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?

Because it has long-distance runners on each side.