Rub Jokes

Why was there never an Aladdin 4?

Because he kept on rubbing the wrong lamp.

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What happens when you pet a cat in the opposite direction?

You rub them the wrong way

Why did the genie turn the man into a toad?

He rubbed him the wrong way.

What is a guy who rubs bear toes called?

Rob...wait for it... erto! Rubeartoe!

Why was the whiteboard angry with the Eraser?

The Eraser had rubbed the Whiteboard the wrong way.

What is green sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together?

Chimney Cricket!

What do you do for a pig with sore muscles?

Rub him with oinkment.

What do you get when you rub two orange juice boxes together?

Pulp friction.

What did the perverted frog say?

Rub-it!

When I was kid, and we'd go sledding on a cold snowy day, Ya know how often I had to rub my hands together to stay warm?

Intermittenly.

What does a frog say when it washes car windows?

Rub it rub it rub it.

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People Jokes More People Jokes

What do you call a theme park where people go to have selfies with chickens?

Pout-ry farm..

How do people in Nor Cal get around?

Hella copters

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

What happens to the water level in the aquarium when one of the fish dies?

It rises because the rest of the fishes are crying:'(

Why was the man sent to prison after staying up all night?

Because he was resisting a rest.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What happened to the gun that kept randomly shooting?

He got fired.

Why are there no guys named William serving in the army?

Because they dislike the phrase "Fire at Will"

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

What did the bear do to be labeled a hipster?

He hibernated in the summer.

Why do bears have hairy coats?

Fur protection.

Toothbrush Jokes More Toothbrush Jokes

What Is Bluetooth?

When your toothbrush stops working mid brushing

How do you know the toothbrush was invented in the South?

Because if it were invented in the North, it'd be called the teethbrush!

Ms. Piggy Jokes More Ms. Piggy Jokes

Why can't Ms. Piggy count to 70?

Because when she gets to 69 she has a Frog in her throat.

What's green and smells like Ms. Piggy?

The Boston Celtics

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

Why are burglars such good tennis players?

Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts!

Why does it take a pirate so long to finish saying the alphabet?

Because they spend years at sea.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why do hipsters love Harrison Ford?

Because he's Indie!

What does the zero say to the eight?

I like your belt. Ok, ok. I know it's elementary, but I still love it.