Rub Jokes

Why was there never an Aladdin 4?

Because he kept on rubbing the wrong lamp.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Why are stick people extinct?

Because you can't rub two sticks together you get fire.

What happens when you pet a cat in the opposite direction?

You rub them the wrong way

Why was the teacher arrested for writing in permanent marker?

He wrote "1 + 0 = 0" and then spent the rest of the lesson trying to rub one out...

Why did the genie turn the man into a toad?

He rubbed him the wrong way.

What is a guy who rubs bear toes called?

Rob...wait for it... erto! Rubeartoe!

What grows when you squeeze it, explodes if you rub it too hard, and children love it?

A balloon animal!

What's the thing that is about 5-6 inches long, it goes into mouth and when you rub it back and forth it produces a white liquid?

A toothbrush.

Why was the whiteboard angry with the Eraser?

The Eraser had rubbed the Whiteboard the wrong way.

What is green sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together?

Chimney Cricket!

What do you do for a pig with sore muscles?

Rub him with oinkment.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What do you get when you rub two orange juice boxes together?

Pulp friction.

What's the difference between sandpaper and a baby?

The sandpaper doesn't scream when I rub it's face on wood.

What did the perverted frog say?

Rub-it!

When I was kid, and we'd go sledding on a cold snowy day, Ya know how often I had to rub my hands together to stay warm?

Intermittenly.

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

What did the rich bearded slave owner say when he was stranded in the desert and saw a mirage of an Arabian lamp and rubbed it?

Here in my mirage got this brand new labor genie here

What does a frog say when it washes car windows?

Rub it rub it rub it.

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Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

What do you call a guy with a toe growing out of his knee?

Tony.

How are babies different from feminists?

Babies grow up and stop crying

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

How do you make a rabbit stew?

Keep it waiting.

What if I draw a peanut on her napkin?

Wife: Please go wait in the car

Explode Jokes More Explode Jokes

Why are Samsung phones so popular?

Because you C4 of them exploding every day

What did the man do when he got a big gas bill?

He exploded.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why couldn't the man marry the melon?

It was a cantaloupe.

Whats the difference between a man and a government bond?

The bond matures.

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What is small, crying and cannot get under the table?

A child with pitchfork in his back

What did one Buddhist Master give to the child for his birthday?

Nothing wrapped in Emptiness. How did the birthday child respond? You are thoughtless for giving me this meaningless gift. To which the Buddhist Master replied, "Thank you."

Lesson Jokes More Lesson Jokes

Why was the teacher arrested for writing in permanent marker?

He wrote "1 + 0 = 0" and then spent the rest of the lesson trying to rub one out...

What is science?

Student: Me Ma'am! Me! Teacher: Ok Pedro! What is science Student: science is our Lesson for today.

People Jokes More People Jokes

What was Camelot?

A place where people parked their camels!

What is literally the most important fact you'll ever learn, that will totally blow your mind?

That people exaggerate.

Produce Jokes More Produce Jokes

What do you call a cow which can no longer produce milk?

An udder failure.

What font is alphabet soup produced in?

Times New Ramen