Rub Jokes

Why was there never an Aladdin 4?

Because he kept on rubbing the wrong lamp.

April Sale

Love Card

$5.99

Why are stick people extinct?

Because you can't rub two sticks together you get fire.

What happens when you pet a cat in the opposite direction?

You rub them the wrong way

Why was the teacher arrested for writing in permanent marker?

He wrote "1 + 0 = 0" and then spent the rest of the lesson trying to rub one out...

Why did the genie turn the man into a toad?

He rubbed him the wrong way.

What is a guy who rubs bear toes called?

Rob...wait for it... erto! Rubeartoe!

What grows when you squeeze it, explodes if you rub it too hard, and children love it?

A balloon animal!

What's the thing that is about 5-6 inches long, it goes into mouth and when you rub it back and forth it produces a white liquid?

A toothbrush.

Why was the whiteboard angry with the Eraser?

The Eraser had rubbed the Whiteboard the wrong way.

What is green sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together?

Chimney Cricket!

What do you do for a pig with sore muscles?

Rub him with oinkment.

April Sale

Birthday State of Mind

$5.99

What do you get when you rub two orange juice boxes together?

Pulp friction.

What's the difference between sandpaper and a baby?

The sandpaper doesn't scream when I rub it's face on wood.

What did the perverted frog say?

Rub-it!

When I was kid, and we'd go sledding on a cold snowy day, Ya know how often I had to rub my hands together to stay warm?

Intermittenly.

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

What did the rich bearded slave owner say when he was stranded in the desert and saw a mirage of an Arabian lamp and rubbed it?

Here in my mirage got this brand new labor genie here

What does a frog say when it washes car windows?

Rub it rub it rub it.

Why does a girls rub her eyes in the morning?

A. Because they don't have balls to itch.

What do you get if you rub an eggplant?

A little aubergenie

You might also enjoy:

Genie Jokes More Genie Jokes

Whats your first wish?

Dave: I wish I was rich. Genie: Granted, what's your second wish Rich: I want lots of money.

What's the difference between a French Knight and my friend with a genie?

One's a Paladin, and the other's my pal Alladin

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What did the man say to the bee who wanted to learn the alphabet?

Nothing lmao bees cant learn.

What was the man running around?

From my 5yr old son Because he wanted to catch some sleep.

Piggy Jokes More Piggy Jokes

Why did Kermit break up with Miss Piggy?

He wasn't ready for a Kermitment.

Why can't Ms. Piggy count to 70?

Because when she gets to 69 she has a Frog in her throat.

Aladdin Jokes More Aladdin Jokes

Why was there never an Aladdin 4?

Because he kept on rubbing the wrong lamp.

Why was Aladdin disqualified from the Rio Olympics?

He was on performance-enhancing rugs.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What happens when the Sun and the Moon get together?

They turn out the lights.

How do you turn on a lamp?

By seducing it

Toad Jokes More Toad Jokes

What kind of amphibian is hired to take your car away?

Toad. Thanks, HammerElectionBeans for the edit.

What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

Why do cats like to hear other cats make noise?

It's meow-sic to their ears!

Why shouldn't anybody help cats down a tree?

Because they're stuck up

White Liquid Jokes More White Liquid Jokes

What do you call it when you thrust a hairy pole in and out of your mouth, and at the end you spit out a white liquid?

Brushing your teeth!

What's the thing that is about 5-6 inches long, it goes into mouth and when you rub it back and forth it produces a white liquid?

A toothbrush.