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What if I draw a peanut on her napkin?

Wife: Please go wait in the car

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why did the programmer get a job working with big data when his wife died?

He just needed a little bit of Clojure.

What's the different between a wife and a smoke detector?

One, you can turn off without even trying. The other, you spend all day waving a dish cloth at.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What kind of a car does a crazy man drive?

A LOCOmotive.

What do a car, a bus, and a family have in common?

The car and the bus both have wheels.

Draw Jokes More Draw Jokes

Why are there no hand paintings from the old west?

Because they could only draw guns.

How many plates do you need to draw a picture?

Tenplates

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

What's the difference between North Korea amd South Korea?

North Koreans have no Seoul. Thought of this very early in the morning waiting to board a plane.

How long are you supposed to wait to return a boy's call?

This IRS guy sounded pretty into me

Peanut Jokes More Peanut Jokes

What if I draw a peanut on her napkin?

Wife: Please go wait in the car

What did the pea say to the peanut?

At least you got one nut, I don't see what you're crying about.

Napkin Jokes More Napkin Jokes

What if I draw a peanut on her napkin?

Wife: Please go wait in the car

What do you call a sleepy Tumblr user?

Napkin.