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What do you want your husbands gravestone to say?

Wife: "Nothing. I want a traditional, non-talking one."

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the man who ate a clock say?

That was time consuming but I still want seconds.

Why did the scientist take off his doorbell?

Because he wanted to win the "Nobel" prize!

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How many beers is that for you today, dear?

Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down.

What's the problem when your wife walks out of the kitchen?

The chain is too long.

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

Why is trigonometry so hard to talk about?

You always end up going off onto tangents.

Why can't two jealous people talk on the phone together?

It is always an insecure line!

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Why did the husband bring his wife's sick dog to the salon?

He was trying to get her pedicure.

Why did the Amish woman divorce her husband?

Because he was driving her buggy.