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What is mostly white, dull, and wants to be popular?

This post.

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Why did you offer me a piece of candy?

Hotel Clerk: You said you wanted the best suite in the hotel.

Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper?

Never mind...it's tearable

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What's the best way to make an egg roll?

You push it! I deserve salmonella for even posting this...

Whats the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods?

Santa stops at 3 Ho's (sorry if it's a re-post)