Herd Jokes

What did Nala tell Simba after seeing a herd of women on Black Friday?

You gotta Mufasa

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How do you count a herd of cattle?

Q: How do you count a herd of cattle? A: With a cowculator.

What did the sheep say to the sheepdog faking deafness?

You herd me!

What do you call a big cat disguised to blend in with a herd of sheep?

A sheopard.

What did the Shepard say when he saw the sheep?

I herd that!

What's the difference between an attorney and a herd of buffalo?

The attorney charges more.

What did tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants in the distance?

Look, a herd of elephants in the distance!

Why can't you keep a secret from cattle?

They herd

What did the farmer say when the townspeople told him all of his cows were in town..?

I herd.

Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?

She thought children should be seen and not herded!

Who lost a herd of elephants?

Big bo peep!

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How do cows get their gossip?

They herd it through the bovine.

What do you call a herd of cows in a psychiatrists office?

An encownter group.

What have you been doing" asked Jane. "Chasing a herd of elephants on vines" "Really?

Said Jane. "I thought elephants stayed on the ground!"

What has 200 legs 50 noses and is very loud?

A herd of stampeding aardvarks!

What did the shepherd's wife say to the shepherd?

You herd.

What did Jesus say to the flock of sheep?

I herd that.

Why aren't cowboy jokes funny?

Ya herd one, ya herd em all.

What happened to the lost cattle?

Nobody's herd.

What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit?

The first herd shot round the world!

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Ape Jokes More Ape Jokes

What excuse does an Ape give for abducting a pretty girl?

I can't help it - she brings out the beast in me!

What do you call an Ape cooking a BBQ?

A Gorilla

Blend Jokes More Blend Jokes

What's the difference between a bucket of blended dead baby and a bucket of sand?

I can't gargle sand.

What's scarier then ten babies in one jar?

One baby in ten jars How do you got a baby in a container A: blend it.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why was the woman so attached to her Dr. Scholl's gel insert?

OC It was her sole comfort.

What is the difference between a Mother and Wife?

One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.

Cattle Jokes More Cattle Jokes

What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?

Laughing stock.

When you are driving though the field in Texas, you see a lot of cattle. They are very special. Wanna know why?

They are out standing in the field

Simba Jokes More Simba Jokes

What did Nala tell Simba after seeing a herd of women on Black Friday?

You gotta Mufasa

Why is Simba an orphan?

Because his dad couldn't Mufasa 'nuff

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why do the ladies love Jesus?

This joke makes more sense if you can see it in person, but we'll give it a shot, anyway. Use your imagination. Why do the ladies love Jesus? Because he was hung like this!

What part of a chicken is a musical instrument?

The drumstick. (Had this joke stuck in my head for a while so felt like sharing it.)

Bovine Jokes More Bovine Jokes

How do cows get their gossip?

They herd it through the bovine.

What do you call a bovine that won't leave Egypt?

MOO-barak!

Thunder Jokes More Thunder Jokes

What did the thunder say when it understood the joke?

I feel so enlightninged!

How do you stop a thundering herd of Apes?

Hold up your arm and say "Go back you didn't say 'May I'"