Why didn't the shepard cut off his sheep's wool?

Shear laziness.

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What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?

No one cries when you cut up a bagpipe.

What's the difference between a baby and a tree?

Trees don't bleed when you cut their limbs off.

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Why didn't the shepard cut off his sheep's wool?

Shear laziness.

What did the Shepard say when he saw the sheep?

I herd that!