Why is Edward Snowden still in Russia?

The airport is Snowden

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Why was Edward stuck at the Russian airport?

Because he was Snowden.

Why was the whistleblower late for his annual winter whistleblower's convention?

Because he was Snowden!

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Why can't you have military coup in Russia?

Because in Russia the military coups you.

What is Russia's favorite type of pasta?

Putinesca

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What did the DJ say to the jazz musician?

Take me to the airport.

How do you get a free flight at an airport?

Take the stairs.

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Why is Edward Snowden still in Russia?

The airport is Snowden

Why is Edward Snowden stuck in Russia?

Because he's snowed-in