Why are gifts in airports so expensive?

God's punishing you for waiting until the flight home to buy your wife a gift.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the difference between a wife and a dog?

The later you get home, the happier one is to see you

Why did u shoot ur wife?

Judge:why did u shoot ur wife instead of shootingher lover Methew:Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.

Gift Jokes More Gift Jokes

What do you give a kid with no hands for Christmas?

Doesnt matter, he'll never unwrap the gift

What did the bald man say when he got a comb as a gift?

I'll never part with this!

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why do they call it Almond Milk?

Because if they called it Nut Juice nobody would buy it.

Which perfume do you use?

It smells good. I want to buy one for my wife." Lady: "Please don't. Some idiot will have an excuse to talk to her."

God Jokes More God Jokes

How is God just like every other man?

If you're not on your knees, he's not interested.

Why did you make women so beautiful?

God:"So you would love her." Man:"Then why did you make her so dumb " God:"So she would love you."

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

Who's there? Orange. Orange who?

Orange you glad I painfully waited until I was done cooking your food to take a poop?

How to keep an idiot waiting?

I'll tell you tomorrow. Edit: Grammar.

Airport Jokes More Airport Jokes

Where do you hide an airport?

IN PLANE SIGHT!

Why can't Admiral Ackbar fly to Hawaii?

Aloha Ackbar" doesn't go over well at the airport

Punish Jokes More Punish Jokes

Why do you never see a black person with Down Syndrome?

God doesn't punish anyone twice.

Where is a tornado put in jail to be punished?

In a high pressure cell