How many US Congress members does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one. They just hold it still and wait for the world to revolve around them.

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World Jokes More World Jokes

What did the Greek God say when he could finally take the world off his shoulders?

At las!

Why is Instagram not working?

But "Why does the world need another picture of you " #instagramnotworking

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Elvis impersonators does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One for the money, two for the show.

How many Bros does it take to change a lightbulb?

None cuz it's already lit af

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

Why do I only see lesbian couples holding hands?

Aren't their hands clammy enough as it is...

What has 42 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk?

My Zipper.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How Many Lightbulbs Does it Take to Change Captain Jean Luc Picard?

4 or 5.

How many Chinamen does it take to change a lightbulb?

Thousands because Confucious say many hands make light work.

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

What do you call people waiting in line for Vietnamese soup?

Pho queue.

What if I draw a peanut on her napkin?

Wife: Please go wait in the car

Revolve Jokes More Revolve Jokes

What did Earth say to the Sun?

My life revolves around you!

How does Stan Collymore change a lightbulb?

He holds it in the air and the world revolves around him

Congress Jokes More Congress Jokes

Why is Congress like a cold?

Because sometimes the ayes (eyes) have it and sometimes the no's (nose).

What's the difference between congress and a circus?

One is a Cunning array of Stunts...