Congress Jokes

What bill is the Congress's favorite?

Of course the $ bill!

March Madness Sale

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$14.99 $19.99

What's the opposite of progress?

Congress.

How many US Congress members does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one. They just hold it still and wait for the world to revolve around them.

Whats the difference between Congress and a US mint?

One of them makes sense!

What's the difference between Congress and a circus?

One is a Cunning array of Stunts...

What is the opposite of pro?

Con. What is the opposite of progress Congress.

What's the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress?

No fee--If No Recovery!

Why is Congress like a cold?

Because sometimes the ayes (eyes) have it and sometimes the no's (nose).

You might also enjoy:

Progress Jokes More Progress Jokes

What's the opposite of pro?

Con. So what's the opposite of progress

What do you call a lamppost in Niger?

Progress.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many mens' rights activists does out take to change a lightbulb?

Well, not all of them.

How many buzzfeed employees does it take to screw a lightbulb?

Click here to find out!

Bill Jokes More Bill Jokes

Why doesn't Bill like old houses?

He's afraid of the draft.

Why do women live longer than men?

Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between little girls and wine?

Wine gets better as it gets older

What is the difference between a barking dog and an umbrella?

The umbrella can be shut up.

Cold Jokes More Cold Jokes

How can you tell a vampire has a cold?

They start coffin.

What's the difference between a bus driver and a cold?

A bus driver knows the stops and a cold stops the nose.

Cunning Array Jokes More Cunning Array Jokes

What's the difference between David Blaine and the NRA?

The former has a cunning array of stunts

What's the difference between the strippers and the circus?

The circus has a cunning array of stunts.

Fee Jokes More Fee Jokes

What is your fee?

Lawyer says: "1000 US dollars for 3 questions." Man: "Wow - so much! Isn't it a bit expensive " Lawyer: "Yes, what is your third question "

What's the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress?

No fee--If No Recovery!

Opposite Jokes More Opposite Jokes

What's the opposite of Easter?

Wester

What's the opposite of evening?

Unevening.