Group Jokes

The Lakers. (Laker fan here. Sorry prob would have been more appropriate last week during the finals.) Edit: I heard this some where the other day. I can't take credit for the joke.

Why do Russian police officers always work in groups of three?

One of them can read, and one of them can write. The third one is there to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.

What do you call a group of rioters attacking a music store?

Luters

What do you call a group of fundamentalist mathematicians?

Al-Gebra

What do you call a group of yogurt loving boat enthusiast?

A Yacult...

What do you call a group of people from Portugal?

Portugeese

What do you call it when a group of chickens rebel against their farmers?

Coop d'etah

What do you call a group of politically similar crows?

A cawcus

What do you call a group of JD Salingers?

A Humble Hindi Bundle.

How many members of an identifiable group does it take to perform a common task?

A certain number! One to actually perform the task, and the rest to act in a manner stereotypical of the group.

How many members of a certain demographic group does it take to perform a specified task?

A finite number: one to perform the task and the remainder to act in a manner stereotypical of the group in question.

What do you call a group of Japanese people running up a hill?

Tsunami Warning

What do you call a group of Vigilante Aussie Nuns?

Birds of Pray

What is the term for a group of Canadians?

Is it "an apology" "Oh look, there goes an apology of Canadians"

Why do the KGB operate in groups of three?

A. "One can read, one can write and one to keep an eye on the two intellectuals."

What do you call a group that only wants a Ninja?

Goad-diggers.

What do you call a group of medical professionals who navigate around the Horn of Africa without being accosted by pirates?

Doctors without boarders.

What do you call a reptile that loves putting things in groups?

A segreGATOR

Which group of people are the best at jazz?

The Saxons!

What's the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do?

Go into town and gang-audit someone.

What do you call it when a group of ghosts rob a bank?

A polterheist.

What do you call a group of students?

A school.

What do you call a group of squid?

A squad

What do you call a group of elephants?

A pack o'derms

What do you call a group of Lexus cars?

A fortune!

What do you call a group of babies?

An Infantry

What is the name for a group of Bankers?

A WUNCH.

What do you call a group of people addicted to Japanese drugs?

We abuse

What do you call a group of singing people floating around in the ocean?

An acappellago

What do you call a group that keeps getting bigger?

A crew.

What do you call a group of alcoholics with the same name?

Alcoholics synonymous.

What do you call a group of pillaging Huns?

An army of Hun-dread.

What do you call a group of goose haunting you?

A poltergeest

What do you call a group of famous people?

Constellation.

What do you call it when a group of Germans give you money online?

Kraut funding

What do you call a group of 10 insects that live in a housing complex?

Tenants

What do you call a group of squids?

A *squad*

What is the collective noun for a group of depressives?

A melancolony

What do you call a group of 8 hobbits?

A hobbyte Cortana told me that joke

What do you call a group of religious oranges?

Jehovah's citruses.

What do you call a group of Ocelot?

An Awful-lot.

What do you call a group of people standing in the Arctic circle?

A Finnish line.

What's the difference between a group of snowboarders and lifties (lift attendants)?

The lift attendants have jobs.

What do you call a group of Combi's?

A Combi nation!

What do you call a group of euphorics?

A fedoration.

Why didn't Rick Grimes settle his group in an abandoned senior center?

Too many walkers.

What do you call a group of rappers in a washing up bowl?

In Sink!

What do you call a white guy surrounded by a group of black guys?

Coach.

What do you call a group of dead geologists?

Mineral Spirits

How does a group of dolphin's make a decision?

Flipper coin!

What do you call a group of armpit farters?

A pit orchestra. Bonus: World Record for Armpit Farts in 15s(https://recordsetter.com/world-record/most-armpit-farts-15-seconds/9602)

What do you call a group of invading pirates?

An **Arrr**my

What's the difference between extremist and /r/thedonald?

At least one group can grow a beard.

What do you do with percussionists that lose one of their drumsticks?

Stick them up front of the group and tell them to wave their arms!

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know, but I bet we could pay them less than a group of men for the same amount of work.

What do you call a group of ears?

A heard

What do you call a group of zombies watching The Sixth Sense while on a cruise?

High Seas Dead People

What is a drill team?

A group of dentists who work together.

What do you call a group of undead police officers?

Zombie Acopalypse

What do you call a group of nit picky redditors?

A headache.

What do you call a group of people in charge of renewable energy for a town?

A solar panel.

What do you call a group of kids?

A migraine

What do you call a group of Amish children?

Amlets.

What do you call a group of cars?

A clutch!

What do you call a group of whales playing music together?

An Orcastra

What do you call a group of poor homeless people that show up to a party?

Party paupers

What do you call a group of security guards in front of a Samsung store?

Guardians of the Galaxy.

Whats the similarity between Monkey in the Middle and Football?

Both of the groups that are concered about the health of someone playing both begin with the letter P.

How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group?

Look for gray hares.

What do you call a group of girls all named Paige?

A chapter.

What do you call a group of IT guys that smoke meth?

Geek Squad

What do you call a group of rabbits backing up?

A Receding hairline

What a group of musical chemists called?

Butane Clan

What do you call a group of Rhode Islanders?

A traffic accident.

Why do groups of cows not like new music releases?

Because they've herd it all before

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