How did I get here?

I'm sure my neighbors ask the same question every time they catch me in their house...taking a shower.

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House Jokes More House Jokes

When is the most likely time that a stray dog will walk into your house?

When the door is open!

How does a vampire clean his house?

With a victim cleaner.

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

What did the caught fish say to the fisherman in the net?

Well man it's been reel.

How many waiters does it take to change a light bulb?

None a burned out bulb can't catch a waiter's eye.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

When she asks "is that your puppy?

Say "No. That's my dad." Then storm off.

When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what will I be. Will I be pretty, will I be rich?

Here's what she said to me: GO TO SLEEP.

Shower Jokes More Shower Jokes

How did I get here?

I'm sure my neighbors ask the same question every time they catch me in their house...taking a shower.

Why did France really surrender to Germany?

Just thought of this earlier in the shower... Had gas ever since.

Question Jokes More Question Jokes

What did the customer say to the barber after looking at a facial hair catalog?

I moustache you a question about this style shown here, good sir.

What is it called when you ride around on a horse asking people questions?

A gallop poll.

Neighbor Jokes More Neighbor Jokes

What did Larry McMurtry say when his neighbor asked to borrow a bar of soap?

He said "Sure! I could loan some Dove".

Why are you picking up rocks?

M: I'm starting a rock band. Neighbor walks away. That is how you get people to leave you alone.