Neighbor Jokes

What do you call someone that lives next a horse?

Their neighbor

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How do you convince your neighbor to share their water with you?

Try to get a long well.

What's 668?

The Neighbor of the Beast.

What gets bigger every time I watch my neighbor undress in her bedroom window?

The restraining order

What did Larry McMurtry say when his neighbor asked to borrow a bar of soap?

He said "Sure! I could loan some Dove".

How many times should you try starting your snowblower before you realize it's not going to start?

According to my neighbor it's 458 times.

How did Mister Baggins know when his neighbor had died?

He read it in the Hobbituary.

What do you say when your neighbor's 5 year old goes missing?

Nothing.

What do call a horse that lives near you?

A neighbor (naybor for pessimist horses)

What do wives and shingles have in common?

If you don't nail them right, they'll end up at your neighbor's.

How did I get here?

I'm sure my neighbors ask the same question every time they catch me in their house...taking a shower.

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What's the similarity between your wife and a tin roof in a hurricane?

If you didn't nail them properly they'll go see your neighbor

Why are you picking up rocks?

M: I'm starting a rock band. Neighbor walks away. That is how you get people to leave you alone.

What do you call a boar that sounds like a horse?

Neighbor

What is 667?

The neighbor of the beast.

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Dictator Jokes More Dictator Jokes

Who's the dictator that reports on youtube drama?

Keem Jong Un.

What do you get when you cross a hotdog and a potato?

A dictator.

Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

Why are sea sponges good at statistics?

They understand coralations!

What was the other reindeer's name?

Olive.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What does a lion at the beach have in common with Christmas?

They both have Sandy Claws.

How can you tell if someone lifts?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Water Jokes More Water Jokes

Why are ships' portholes round?

So that if they break, water doesn't hit you square in the face.

What do you call an alien starship that drips water?

A crying saucer.

Russia Jokes More Russia Jokes

Why did Edward miss his flight out of Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Why did the Russians use peanuts for torture in the Cold War?

Because in Soviet Russia, Nut Cracks You!

Current Event Jokes More Current Event Jokes

What do you call a jungle where animals talk about current events?

A topical rainforest.

What stresses fish out the most?

Current events.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What's an empty suit of armor doing on the drivers side of a car?

He went out for the knight. OK I'll leave now

What's the most popular type of car in Turkey?

Coupe

Neighbor Cat Jokes More Neighbor Cat Jokes

How's the baby?

Me: He keeps trying to shove socks thru the mail slot. Wife: Aw. His socks or yours Me: Socks is the neighbor's cat..