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How did Mister Baggins know when his neighbor had died?

He read it in the Hobbituary.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why is Santa Claus always so Jolly?

He knows where all the naughty girls live.

What do you call a drill on the North Pole that just wants to get to know people?

An icebreaker

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What did Kermit the Frog say after Jim Hensen died?

Nothing...

Which part of your body shuts down last when you die?

The eyes, cause they di-late.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Why was Joe disappointed when he read the newspaper in Washington?

There were no jokes in the Post.

What did Helen Keller say after being handed a cheese grater?

That's the worst book I ever read.

Neighbor Jokes More Neighbor Jokes

What did Larry McMurtry say when his neighbor asked to borrow a bar of soap?

He said "Sure! I could loan some Dove".

How did I get here?

I'm sure my neighbors ask the same question every time they catch me in their house...taking a shower.