Why were the proctologist's emails so hard to read?

Too many colons.

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What do New York McDonald's employees and people who read Ulysses have in common?

Liberal Arts Degrees.

What are you going to do with your time, now that you're retired?

I'm going to finish my book." "I didn't know you were writing a book." "I'm not, I'm reading one."

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Why were the proctologist's emails so hard to read?

Too many colons.

What do computer programmers and aged-care nurses have in common?

They both worry about the position of colons.