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Why were the proctologist's emails so hard to read?

Too many colons.

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Why did the man use deodorant to fix a broken window?

He read that it was an invisible solid.

When she read the order back to me she said, "So, you have one thick sausage, anything else?

I looked her dead in the eye and replied, "Yes, I also ordered a pizza."

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Why were the proctologist's emails so hard to read?

Too many colons.

Who would want a "Semi" tattoo on their colon?

Not that there's anything wrong with that....