What's black white and read all over?

A newspaper.

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Why can't Sean Connery read November?

Because he hasn't Read October.

What will never be read in braille?

Do not touch.

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What's the difference between a TV and a newspaper?

Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a newspaper bag?

One is made of plastic and poses a suffocation hazard to small children. The other one contains newspapers.