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Why can't Sean Connery read November?

Because he hasn't Read October.

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What did Stevie Wonder think when he got a cheese grater for Christmas?

That it was the most violent book he'd ever read.

What does a blind person read in church?

Holy Braille

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What time does Sean Connery leave to go to Wimbledon?

Tennish.

What time does Sean Connery go to the US Open?

Tennish

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How many absurdist/surrealist comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

November.

Who would win a battle between an orangutan and a hyena?

I don't know, but we'll find out November 8, 2016.