November Jokes

Why can't Sean Connery read November?

Because he hasn't Read October.

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How is the American public now like Socrates?

By November, they will have both picked their poison.

How many absurdist/surrealist comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

November.

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Sean Connery Jokes More Sean Connery Jokes

What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?

Tennish

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Who Wants to be a Millionaire messes up while reading the question?

A Regis Error.

When she read the order back to me she said, "So, you have one thick sausage, anything else?

I looked her dead in the eye and replied, "Yes, I also ordered a pizza."

April 2nd Jokes More April 2nd Jokes

How many seconds are in a year?

12. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd.... etc

How many seconds are there in one year?

12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?

He lost track of thyme. Happy Thanksgiving.

What does a tornado and a red-neck divorce have in common?

Either way someone's going to lose a trailer.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many bees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

How many socialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

All of them.

American Jokes More American Jokes

Why did the Native American hate snow?

It's white and on his land.

What did the American call Karl Marx when a shrine was dedicated to him in Japan?

A Kami.

Socrate Jokes More Socrate Jokes

What gym did Socrates go to?

The Y.

How is the American public now like Socrates?

By November, they will have both picked their poison.

Alien Jokes More Alien Jokes

What do you get if you cross a student and an alien?

Something from another universe -ity!

What did the aliens say, when they came to earth in search of soda pop?

Take me to your liter!