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What happened when Sean Connery bought himself a little kitten?

The cat shat on the mat.

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when you seduce a cow?

You get milk.

Why was the UKIP voter angry?

Because he didn't like the look of the Poles (for this to make sense, pretend the UK election hasn't happened yet)

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

Why shouldn't anybody help cats down a tree?

Because they're stuck up

Where should you take your cat, if it somehow loses its tail?

Walmart, they're the world's biggest retailer. Thank you. I'll be here all week.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why did the cowboy buy a wiener dog?

So he could "get a long little doggy".

How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?

He prawned everything!

Sean Connery Jokes More Sean Connery Jokes

When does Sean Connery usually arrive at Wimbledon?

Tennish.

What's Sean Connery's favorite sport and when does he play it?

Tennish