What happened when Sean Connery bought himself a little kitten?

The cat shat on the mat.

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What happened when Red-Beard's ship and Blue-Beard's ship crashed into each other?

They were MAROONED!

What happened to the Arm &amp?

Hammer Deodorant car?

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

Why wasn't the cat moving?

It was on paws

What do you call a cat that's guilty of infidelity?

A cheetah

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Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

What's dumber than a box of rocks?

The hippie carrying it. What's dumber than that? The yuppie buying it. What's dumber than that? The box of rocks

Sean Connery Jokes More Sean Connery Jokes

Where does Sean Connery put his beard clippings?

His shavings account.

Why does Sean Connery have no money and a beard?

Because he's no good at shaving.