What do you call a frog in the no parking zone?

Toad

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What do you call a frog that jumps half the distance to its destination every time?

An asymptoad.

What does a frog that can read say?

Reddit...reddit...

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What do you call an illegally parked frog?

Toad.

Why did you put a toad in your sister's bed?

Son: I couldn't find a spider.