Newspaper Jokes

Why was Joe disappointed when he read the newspaper in Washington?

There were no jokes in the Post.

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What kind of newspaper do cows read?

The Moo York Times

What's the difference between a TV and a newspaper?

Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?

Why did the newspaper cross the street?

To get to the other side of the story.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a newspaper bag?

One is made of plastic and poses a suffocation hazard to small children. The other one contains newspapers.

Which newspaper is most popular around cows?

The Moo York Times

How did the newspaper go about reviewing the opera production?

They followed Standard Opera-rating Procedure

Which is the most dangerous page of the newspaper?

C4.

What's black white and read all over?

A newspaper.

What newspaper do cows read?

The Daily Moos.

What's black and white and read all over?

The newspaper.

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Moo York Times Jokes More Moo York Times Jokes

What kind of newspaper do cows read?

The Moo York Times

Which newspaper is most popular around cows?

The Moo York Times

Guardian Jokes More Guardian Jokes

What do you call a group of security guards in front of a Samsung store?

Guardians of the Galaxy.

What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?

Guardians of the galaxy

Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

Why'd the chicken cross the court?

Because he heard the ref was blowin' fowels..

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

Britain Jokes More Britain Jokes

Why does Britain like tea so much?

Because tea leaves.

Why does Britain love tea so much?

Because tea leaves.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Why is today John Philip Sousa Day?

Because he told everyone to march fourth.

Why did I wear no jeans today?

My supply was short.

Feminist Jokes More Feminist Jokes

How many feminists you need to change a lamp?

That's not funny...

Why have sumo wrestlers began shaving their legs?

They were getting tired of being mistaken for feminists

Jail Jokes More Jail Jokes

Why did the 3 year old go to jail?

For resisting a rest.

Why was the paper man sent to jail?

He was caught rustling.

Small Child Jokes More Small Child Jokes

What Is the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?

One is white, made of plastic, and very dangerous if left around small children. The other is a plastic bag.

What's the difference between a small child and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.