Newspaper Jokes

Why was Joe disappointed when he read the newspaper in Washington?

There were no jokes in the Post.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$19.99

What kind of newspaper do cows read?

The Moo York Times

What's the difference between a TV and a newspaper?

Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?

Why did the newspaper cross the street?

To get to the other side of the story.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a newspaper bag?

One is made of plastic and poses a suffocation hazard to small children. The other one contains newspapers.

Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children?

They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.

Which newspaper is most popular around cows?

The Moo York Times

How did the newspaper go about reviewing the opera production?

They followed Standard Opera-rating Procedure

Which is the most dangerous page of the newspaper?

C4.

What's black white and read all over?

A newspaper.

What's the difference between a newspaper and a cocaine addict?

One has headlines, and the other gives head for lines.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$19.99

What newspaper do cows read?

The Daily Moos.

What's black and white and read all over?

The newspaper.

You might also enjoy:

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of goat did Houdini have?

A scapegoat.

What kind of fish would you want to go to bed with?

A cuddlefish! (corny I know)

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

Why are you taking so long to order?

Diner: I can't decide whether I want heartburn or nausea.

What does the rude barista say to the customer in a coffee shop?

I cant decide whether you are a fruitcake or a doughnut!

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

What do you call someone who can't stop reading Nancy Drew novels?

A heroine addict.

How would you write do not touch in Braile?

A. With copper wire and strong electric current. (read it in a shower thoughts thread)

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

Why was Mary Jane not a virgin?

Her mother leaves.

How many mothers-in-law does it take to change a light bulb?

One. She just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around her.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What do you call the crucified baby Jesus?

Baby on board.

How's the baby?

Me: He keeps trying to shove socks thru the mail slot. Wife: Aw. His socks or yours Me: Socks is the neighbor's cat..

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

Where does He-Man keep his towel?

BY THE SHOWER OF GREYSKULL!!! I wrote this joke today. Feel free to steal it.

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

Why do Democrats like to play Pokemon?

They've always enjoyed rounding up Japanese monsters.

What kind of cake did Noah enjoy?

Mabul cake.

Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the park?

To get to the other slide...

Why did the turkey walk across the road twice?

He didn't want to be called chicken