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Lindsay Lohan Jokes

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What came first?

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says... "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"

What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common?

They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from!

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What does IDK mean?

I've yet to find someone who knows.

What did the farmer say when the police found the gate from the public footpath in his barn and accused him of stealing?

That's not my stile.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How do you feel when there's no coffee?

Depresso.

How did the firefly feel when he flew into the fan?

He was de-lighted

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why did the worker on the egg farm get fired from his job?

Because he had a crack addiction.

How do I get out this stain?

Fire. How do you fix a car Fire. How do you break up with someone FIRE!

Pal Jokes More Pal Jokes

What is she doing?

The pal asks. "Waiting for me to get home."

What does an American actor say when going to Europe?

Let's go PAL.

Santa Clause Jokes More Santa Clause Jokes

What is the linguistic description of sentences like 'ho ho ho' and 'Merry Christmas'?

They are both santa clauses.

What did Santa Clause give all the naughty boys and girls for Christmas this year?

He made them Batman.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a podiatrist and Ginger Baker?

A podiatrist bucks up your feet.

What is the difference between a dog and a fox?

About 5 drinks

Note Jokes More Note Jokes

How are you dealing with not writing any of the songs?

He responds, "One note at a time."

What kind of writing makes the most money?

Ransom notes.