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Polish Jokes

What do you say when a Polish magician performs a magic trick?

Nailed it

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What dog is the worst at polishing a turd?

A poodull

What does a Polish groom give his bride for their wedding that is long and hard?

A new last name.

What does a Polish bride get on her wedding night that is long and hard?

A new last name

What do you call a Polish chicken stuck in a tree?

Poll tree!

How do you say "touchdown" in Polish?

Gronkowski

How do you know a car is from Poland?

The Polish.

How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast?

They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving

What's long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night?

A new last name.

What does a Polish bride get on her wedding night that's long and hard?

A new last name!

What's the difference between Italian and Polish sausage?

About 2-3 inches.

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How long is the flight?

A Polish man calls up an airline. "How long is the flight from Chicago to Warsaw?" "One minute..." "Thank you."

How many Polish people does it take to be pallbearers at a funeral?

Seven. Six to carry the casket and one to drag the body

What do they call a Polish astronomer?

Copernicus.

What does a Polish man give to his bride on their wedding day that's both long and hard?

His surname

What do you call a Polish airplane?

A Jet-ski.

What is a Polish person's favorite weapon?

A Warsaw...

Why do Polish people keep empty bottles in their refrigerator?

For people that don't want anything to drink

Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children?

They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.

Why do Polish hate Cauchy's dog?

Hint on Cauchy-Riemann theorem) A: Because it leaves residues at each Pole.

Why did the Polish person marry someone from the other side of the country?

Because opposite poles attract

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What's delaying the Polish space program?

Development of a working match.

What do Polish Arctic researchers do at elections?

They have a polar pole poll.

What do you do when you stumble upon a one-armed Polish man stuck in a tree?

You wave!

Why do Polish police cars have stripes on the side?

So the cops can find the handles.

What do you call a Polish fisherman?

A fishing pole.

What sound does a Polish crow make?

Krakow

What do you call the shiniest people?

Polish

What is something long and hard that a Polish Bride gets on her wedding day?

A last name.

What was the name of the Polish limo driver?

Piccop Andropoff.

Why did the Polish government have to finally ban water-polo throughout the country?

Too many horses were drowning.

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How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding?

He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt.

What would happen if you ate yeast and Polish?

You would rise and shine.

Why did the introvert Polish his shoes regularly?

So he could look at others' faces.

What is Polish roulette?

It's similar to Russian roulette, but instead of a revolver it's played with an automatic pistol.

What's big and long that a Polish girl gets on her wedding night?

A new last name

Why are hot pickle buns so popular in Polish women's prisons?

They're made out of dill dough.

How do you call a spiritually significant Polish guy?

Totem Pole.

How do Polish dogs get bumps on their heads?

Chasing parked cars.

What does a Polish guy do on the ice?

He breaks in.

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Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What did the barber say to the Potato?

You've got eyes on the back of your head!

What makes a grown man cry?

Watching his wife and children die before his eyes.

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

How do you get a Mormon to not drink all of your beer on a fishing trip?

Bring two Mormons.

Why did the vulture get kicked off the flight?

He brought the wrong carrion.

Wedding Night Jokes More Wedding Night Jokes

What did the polygamist horse get on his wedding night?

A double bridle

What long and hard thing does a Norwegian wife get on her wedding night?

A last name

Spell Jokes More Spell Jokes

Why did the young witch have such difficulty writing letters?

She had never learned to spell properly.

How does it spell?

Dg".

World Jokes More World Jokes

Who is the smelliest hairiest monarch in the world?

King Pong.

Who is the most successful liar in the world?

Mary. Lied about her extramarital affair, still believed by billions.

Care Jokes More Care Jokes

Which joke has the maximum HOT Nuns in it?

You don't know none.. And here to learn one.. So when you are with your friends.. Or walking with your son.. Tell them reddit jokes.. thinking now they would listen... (to you) play it cool, play it slow.. No need to blow.. Take this further, take this far.. till sang by a star. (Improvise it as you like, don't care about the grammar. No rapper does.)

What do you call a CIA agent that nobody cares about?

Li Yung

People Jokes More People Jokes

What type of people do vampires like?

Type O positive people.

How do you make people lose faith in this sub?

This.

Magic Trick Jokes More Magic Trick Jokes

What do you call a dog who does magic tricks?

A labracadabrador

What does a bro say when asked if he needs help doing a magic trick?

Nah brah, tadah brah!