Why are you picking up rocks?

M: I'm starting a rock band. Neighbor walks away. That is how you get people to leave you alone.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How does one know a man is going to say something smart?

His sentences start with "A woman once told me.."

What did the three-legged horse do when it started to rain?

It ran to the unstable.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

How many racecar drivers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It's impossible, they only know how to turn to the left.

How did the blonde die raking leaves?

She fell out of the tree.

People Jokes More People Jokes

What do you call people that you hate?

Clouds, because once they are gone it's a beautiful day.

What do you call a guy who always phones people?

Colin.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What do you call someone who walks into a building full of people?

A cannibal.

When's the best time to take your doberman pinscher for a walk?

Anytime he wants to go.

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

What's black and got ten arms?

I've got no idea, but it probably can pick cotton like hell.

What is the past tense of 'think'?

So I thought and thought and thought and eventually I picked 'thinked'.

Rock Jokes More Rock Jokes

What's the best music to listen to while stoned?

Rock.

What did the naturalist say when he saw a number of rocks covered in moss?

I'm lichen what I see

Rock Band Jokes More Rock Band Jokes

What's an owl's favorite rock band?

Owls personally prefer the track list of Rock Band 2. Just a solid game.

What was the rock band doing at the kitchen sink?

Moshing the dishes

Neighbor Jokes More Neighbor Jokes

What is she?

Me: A dog. Duh. Neighbor...

What gets bigger every time I watch my neighbor undress in her bedroom window?

The restraining order