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How many times should you try starting your snowblower before you realize it's not going to start?

According to my neighbor it's 458 times.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Who started the campfire website?

Some bright spark.

What do you call the reptile that started the fight?

The insti-gator.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What would I do if Future tried talking to me?

I'd autotune him out.

What did the IT guy say to his wife after she complained about their love life?

Did you try turning me off and on again?

Accord Jokes More Accord Jokes

What do you get when you wreck a Honda Accord into a Saturn Ion?

An Accordion....I'll, uh, see myself out.

How do librarians file melted marshmallows?

According to the Gooey Decimal System.

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

What did Ghost A say to Ghost B?

Nothing because ghosts don't exist. Edit:Holy crap I just realized I didn't post this on /r/antijokes.

What do you have when you just used the toilet and realized there's no toilet paper?

A real mess on your hands.

Neighbor Jokes More Neighbor Jokes

What did Larry McMurtry say when his neighbor asked to borrow a bar of soap?

He said "Sure! I could loan some Dove".

How did I get here?

I'm sure my neighbors ask the same question every time they catch me in their house...taking a shower.

Snowblower Jokes More Snowblower Jokes

Why did the snowman smile?

Because the snowblower is coming.

How do you turn a washing machine into a snowblower?

Give her a shovel.