How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your Bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when someone told him to upgrade to Windows 7?

I still love vista, baby

What's the difference between a skeptic and a conspiracy theorist?

You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What bank do birds open accounts with?

The one with the most branches!

What happens if you cross a parrot with a Gorilla?

Nobody is sure but if it opened its mouth to speak you'd listen!

Bible Jokes More Bible Jokes

What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?

A. Honda...because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Who was the best financier in the Bible?

Noah. He floated his stock while the whole world was in liquidation.

Shrek Jokes More Shrek Jokes

What did Shrek say when the waiter dropped off his food at the German Restaurant?

Donkey!" (Danke) You gotta say it with the Shrek accent to work.

Who is Shrek's favorite basketball player?

Shrekquille O'Neal I'm sorry

Gospel Jokes More Gospel Jokes

How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your Bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

Which gospel contains Jesus' parable about the shades of numbers?

Math hue.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

How would you write do not touch in Braile?

A. With copper wire and strong electric current. (read it in a shower thoughts thread)

What is this fly doing in my alphabet soup?

Waiter: Probably learning to read.

Accord Jokes More Accord Jokes

How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your Bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

Why was Edward unable to get out of Russia?

Because he was Snowd en! (according to my friends this joke has been around for awhile, but I hadn't seen it yet, and wanted to share the goof)