How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

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Why didn't they tell Chris Christie they took his pony away?

He would've found it hard to digest.

How can you tell if a Mobile software developer isn't enjoying his job?

He isn't very App-y

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How many men does it take to open a beer?

None, the beer should be open by the time she has brought it to you.

Why couldn't the man open a fish and herb shop?

Because he didn't have the thyme or the plaice.

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What Bible verse keeps every student going?

Lunch 11:35.

What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?

A. Honda...because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Shrek Jokes More Shrek Jokes

How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

What does Shrek say when he wins a game of chess?

Shrekmate.

Gospel Jokes More Gospel Jokes

What is the difference between a black person and a tire?

The tire doesn't sing gospels when you put it in chains.

Which gospel contains Jesus' parable about the shades of numbers?

Math hue.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

What did Helen Keller say when she picked up a cheese grater?

That was the most violent book I've ever read..........

When you ask her "Have you ever read Shakespeare?

And she answers "No, who wrote it ".... Keep moving.

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What colour is eight?

Purple (According to my 3 year old son)

What do you get when you cross a Mexican cholo and an ill tempered Irishman?

A surprisingly stable person according to my Homie O'Statis.