Bible Jokes

Let's see. There'sKneehighmiah, Bildad the Shoe-Height...oh, and Peter, who said, "Silver andgold I have none," and no one could be much shorter than that.

What Bible verse keeps every student going?

Lunch 11:35.

What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?

A. Honda...because the apostles were all in one Accord.

How much would you say you read the Bible?

Well, I don't read it religiously." Bud-dum tss, I hate myself.

Where is tennis mentioned in the Bible?

Where Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.

April Sale

Whats the most unlikely line to read in the Bible?

The characters in this book are entirely fictional.

Where do you find the Bible in a library?

Fiction".

What do you call a burning Bible?

Holy smokes.

Which servant of Jehovah was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?

A. Moses. Because he broke all 10 commandments at once.

What if the Bible had a major typo and the Devil was really after our SOIL?

Maybe he just wants to grow some pot plants.

What is the most successful spinoff ever made?

The Bible

Who was the best financier in the Bible?

Noah. He floated his stock while the whole world was in liquidation.

What do you call a Bible for the blind?

The Holy Braille!

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Giant Jokes More Giant Jokes

How much for the giant, walk-in medicine cabinet?

Sir, this is a liquor store.

What is even bigger than an elephant?

A giant!

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What does the last man on earth watch on tv?

Reruns

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?

Bob.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why German Loves Americans why do Germans love Americans?

Because Americans are the most hated people in the world now.

Why does Al Gore hate Oil Spills?

They get all over the sheets.

Noah Jokes More Noah Jokes

What did Noah do while spending time on the ark?

Fished but he didn't catch much. He only had two worms!

Genocide Jokes More Genocide Jokes

Street Jokes More Street Jokes

Why did the sperm cross the street?

Because i put on the wrong socks.

Why are you driving on the sidewalk?

Motorist: It's too dangerous on the street.

Shelf Jokes More Shelf Jokes

What ghost did Ebenezer Scrooge encounter when he refurnished his home?

The shadow of his former shelf.

What did the bookshelf say when it looked in the mirror?

I can see my shelf

Accord Jokes More Accord Jokes

Jennifer is 21 years older than her son Douglas. 6 years from now, Jennifer will be 5 times as old as Douglas. Question: Where is Jennifer's husband? Solution: J=D+21 J+6=5(D+6) According to my math, Douglas has 3/4 years, which means -9 months. Pregnancy lasts for nine months, so Jennifer's husband is in the bed with her right now. Sauce:

Who is your favorite President of China?

According to her it's Mao.

Bible Jokes

How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Your Age Is Only Math

Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?

What is Bill and Ted's favorite book of the Bible?

Why do feminist hate the Bible?

Why do writers hate the Bible?

What was the first mention of soccer in the Bible?

What's the difference between a cow and The Bible?

What was the first reference to pole vaulting in the Bible?

Why do old people read the Bible so much?

What's the first sign of football in the Bible?

What's long and thick and turns conservative women on?

Birthday State of Mind

Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?

Why is it hard to sell bibles in Germany?

Who is the richest person in the Bible?

Why did the macaroni cross the street with a Bible?

Who was the best actor in the Bible?

Who were the shortest people in the Bible?