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How much would you say you read the Bible?

Well, I don't read it religiously." Bud-dum tss, I hate myself.

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What's someone who hates underwear's favorite song?

Free Ballin - Foo Fighters

Why do Republicans hate lotion?

Because the directions say to apply it liberally.

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Why do feminist hate the Bible?

Because it ends with A-men

Where do you find the Bible in a library?

Fiction".

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How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

How can you tell the difference between a can of chicken soup and a can of tomato soup?

Read the label.