Shrek Jokes

How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your Bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Who is Shrek's favorite basketball player?

Shrekquille O'Neal I'm sorry

What is Shrek's favorite book?

Don-key xote

What did Shrek say when the waiter dropped off his food at the German Restaurant?

Donkey!" (Danke) You gotta say it with the Shrek accent to work.

What does Shrek say when he wins a game of chess?

Shrekmate.

How was the sound quality of Shrek's musical keyboard?

Nothing special, it was just MIDI-Ogre

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Don Jokes More Don Jokes

What do you call a knight with a morning star?

Don

How do mob boss mules open doors?

With Don-keys.

Gospel Jokes More Gospel Jokes

Which gospel contains Jesus' parable about the shades of numbers?

Math hue.

How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your Bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What did the guy who liked mustard say when he opened his fridge and saw no mustard?

You mustard be joking!

Who's there! Ali! Ali who?

Ali-luyah at last you've opened the door!

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

What take out food should you avoid at all costs in Hospital?

Donor Kebab

How is food purchased an an Irish grocery?

You buy it per-tater

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell a chemist no?

Nitrogen Monoxide

How can you tell if a carpenter is happy?

Check his spirit level.

Donkey Jokes More Donkey Jokes

What do you call a donkey throwing nuts?

An astronaut.

What key opens a banana?

A monkey. What key opens a carrot? A donkey.

Chess Jokes More Chess Jokes

What do you call a crowd of chess players bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

Why can't Australians play chess?

They keep saying check, mate.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your Bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

What does a frog that can read say?

Reddit...reddit...