Why do Australians take forever to play chess?

Because they never make it past the first check, mate.

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Check Jokes More Check Jokes

What do you use to check your cell from across the room?

A telephono lens.

Why did Scotty check all the toilets of the Starship Enterprise?

He was looking for the Captain's log.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

How many quarters does it take to play the Lord of the Rings pinball game?

None, it only takes Tolkiens

How do you make a trombone sound like a French horn?

Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes.

Australian Jokes More Australian Jokes

What do Australians call upside down cake?

Cake.

Why are Australians so well balanced?

They have a chip on both shoulders.

Chess Jokes More Chess Jokes

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess?

Because he's dead.

What do you call two chess enthusiasts bragging in a lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.