Chess Jokes

What does a blanket say to the other after a game of chess?

Well plaid.

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Why is the USA so bad at chess?

Because they are missing two towers.

Why can't Americans play chess?

Because they are missing two towers.

Why does Bob Seger always laugh when he plays chess?

He thinks it's funny how the Knight moves.

What do you call two chess enthusiasts bragging in a lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

What did the Australian say when he won a game of chess?

Cheers, mate.

Why can't Australians play chess?

They keep saying check, mate.

Why is it so confusing to play chess with the British?

It's only check, mate

Why do Australians take forever to play chess?

Because they never make it past the first check, mate.

Why arent the Americans playing chess?

They are missing two towers.

What is Michael Bay's favorite move in chess?

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What did one slice of bread say to the other at the end of a game of chess?

It's stale, mate.

What does Shrek say when he wins a game of chess?

Shrekmate.

What's a pirate's favorite move in chess?

Check, matey.

Why does the Pope always win at chess?

He has so many Bishops!

Why do North Americans hate playing chess?

Cause they lack the towers.

Why do the /r/jokes moderators like chess?

It's the only chance they have to mate.

Why is chess confusing in Australia?

That's check, mate.

What do you call a crowd of chess players bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

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What did the pirate say after his first-mate stuck the wheel in his pants?

ARGHH! You're driving me nuts!

How the hell did you get a body like that?

He asked. "Thanks," I said, "That's very flattering." He said, "Not really mate."

Game Jokes More Game Jokes

What game do French schoolchildren like to play?

Simon 16

What game do they play at Mexican carnivals?

Guaca-mole!

Lobby Jokes More Lobby Jokes

How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Hell you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.

What kind of fish does Google have in their lobby?

Bettas

Australian Chess Player Jokes More Australian Chess Player Jokes

What did the Australian chess player say to the waiter when he finished his meal?

Check, mate.

What did the Australian Chess player say to the waiter?

Cheque, mate!

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do I get when I pour my Root Beer into a square mug?

Just Beer. If you don't get it, think mathematically.

How do you think bus driver interviews go?

Applicant: Sorry I'm late! Interviewer: You're hired!

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What's a sheep's favourite band?

Ewe 2

Why do the Lanisters have such big beds?

Because they push 2 twins together to make a king.

Cheque Jokes More Cheque Jokes

What did the Australian Chess player say to the waiter?

Cheque, mate!

Where do you take a cheque?

Czechoslovakia.

Blanket Jokes More Blanket Jokes

What did the pastor say when his blanket rose up from his bed?

Holy Sheet!

What's the worst gift to give to an anti-vaxxer?

Blankets.