Why doesn't Michael Jackson play chess?

Because he's dead.

This joke may have profanity.
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What instrument does God play?

He plays the cello. As it says in scripture: "Our God is a cellist God."

What song can never be played on #throwback Thursday?

Friday by Rebecca Black

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What's the similarities between Michael Jackson and the colour changing dress?

They both started out black and blue then became white and golden

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess?

Because he's dead.

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What do you call a crowd of chess players bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

Why do Australians take forever to play chess?

Because they never make it past the first check, mate.