Accord Jokes

How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your Bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What was the #1 summer blockbuster, according to Cat Fancy magazine?

Mad Manx: Furry Road

What colour is eight?

Purple (According to my 3 year old son)

What do you get when you wreck a Honda Accord into a Saturn Ion?

An Accordion....I'll, uh, see myself out.

How many reindeers does Santa Claus have?

Santa Claus has 10 reindeers according to the song.

How many times should you try starting your snowblower before you realize it's not going to start?

According to my neighbor it's 458 times.

How do librarians file melted marshmallows?

According to the Gooey Decimal System.

Who is your favorite President of China?

According to her it's Mao.

What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?

A. Honda...because the apostles were all in one Accord.

How is Snow White?

Pretty good according to the 7 dwarfs

How Many Russians Does It Take To Invade Crimea?

None according to the Russians.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Why was Edward unable to get out of Russia?

Because he was Snowd en! (according to my friends this joke has been around for awhile, but I hadn't seen it yet, and wanted to share the goof)

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5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

What are the 5 most terrifying word in the English language?

Five more years of Cameron

What can 5 men do that 5 women can't do?

Pee in a cup.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did the Mexican fire chief call his two sons?

Jose and josB (Hose A &amp Hose B)

What did the buffalo say to his kid when he went off to college?

Bye, son.

Honda Jokes More Honda Jokes

What does HONDA stand for?

Hold On, Not Done Accelerating.

What's the most reliable thing about a Honda?

It's theft rate.

Month Jokes More Month Jokes

Why was Adele's phone bill $500 this month?

She must have called a 1,000 times

How many seconds are in a year?

Only 12. One for every month.

Math Jokes More Math Jokes

What do you get when you cross a Star Wars ship with math?

A Pi fighter

How do cows do math?

A cow-culator.

Shrek Jokes More Shrek Jokes

What did Shrek say when the waiter dropped off his food at the German Restaurant?

Donkey!" (Danke) You gotta say it with the Shrek accent to work.

How was the sound quality of Shrek's musical keyboard?

Nothing special, it was just MIDI-Ogre

Question Jokes More Question Jokes

What is it called when you ride around on a horse asking people questions?

A gallop poll.

What is your fee?

Lawyer says: "1000 US dollars for 3 questions." Man: "Wow - so much! Isn't it a bit expensive " Lawyer: "Yes, what is your third question "

Sauce Jokes More Sauce Jokes

Why did the chef add extra oregano to the sauce?

He was making up for lost thyme. Thank you, thank you. I'll just show myself out now.

Why did the chip chase the sauce?

To ketchup Edit: I'm sorry