Nevermind, this riddle is too easy.
Miscarriage. This joke never gets old, just like the baby.
Popcorn.
What has a foot but no legs?
Sir. Groan worthy penguin jokes(https://allwrong.wordpress.com/2007/10/05/penguin-riddles/)
Two. One to screw it almost all the way in and one to give it a surprising twist at the end.
A tail pail!
Take away her "W."
Me: your mother, why W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again.