How do you start a joke about Vladimir Putin?

By looking over your shoulder.

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Why did the hacker start selling his services?

So he could make his 4Chan.

How does Times Square start the new year?

By having Mariah Carey drop the ball! "The audience can sing this one."

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How many A.D.D. kids does it take to change a light bulb?

Look a squirrel!

How did Voldemort look like when he was hiding in Albania?

Pretty gaunt

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How fast can Klingon's run?

About Warf speed. My mom made this joke up last night at a bbq party. She likes to think she is funnier on holidays. Thanks, Mom.

What's supposed to be funny, but let's you down?

This joke...

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How did the media find out that Princess Diana had dandruff?

They saw her head and shoulders in the glove compartment

How do you start a joke about Vladimir Putin?

By looking over your shoulder.

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What did Vladimir Putin say to the Ukraine after he annexed it?

Crimean river.

What happens when Vladimir Putin stands up too fast?

Head Russian...