How do you start a joke about Vladimir Putin?

By looking over your shoulder.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae?

Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!

Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?

So they could Scandinavian.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why should you pay scientists with $50 bills?

They're always looking for Grant money.

Why is a sorority the safest place to be during a zombie apocalypse?

Because they're looking for braaaaaaaaaains

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What's the difference between the jokes I read today, and the jokes I read last week?

The posters

Why do ISIS fighters only drink instant coffee?

Because they hate the French Press. (This joke used to be more topical)

Shoulder Jokes More Shoulder Jokes

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food?

His shoulder.

How can you tell when a white guy is about to tell a joke?

He glances over his shoulder.

Vladimir Putin Jokes More Vladimir Putin Jokes

What did Vladimir Putin say after dropping a smashing one-liner?

Putout

What is Vladimir Putin's favourite Justin Timberlake song?

Crimea river