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How do you start a joke about Vladimir Putin?

By looking over your shoulder.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

When do you REALLY know you need to break up with you GF?

When she starts winning arguments with you inner-voice.

What starts with "p," ends with "s," and is really long?

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What Color Is It?

In case you hadn't noticed, the color of the wind is 'blew.' Water always looks 'wet' to me. Dirt is oviously 'dirty.' Soup seems 'soupy.' If you can't find those Crayons in your box, contact CRAYOLA.

Why did the walrus goto the tupperware party?

He was looking for a tight seal.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What do you call a lawyer up to his neck in cement?

Not enough cement EDIT: Okay thanks for pointing out that I messed up the wording but the joke is supposed to be the funny part

What do you call a joke on drugs?

Highlarious

Shoulder Jokes More Shoulder Jokes

What was the executioner's favorite shampoo?

Head and shoulders.

How does every racist joke begin?

With a look over the shoulder.

Vladimir Putin Jokes More Vladimir Putin Jokes

What do Vladimir Putin, Crude Oil, and the Russian Ruble have in common?

They're all going to be 65 this year.

Why is Vladimir Putin always Russian?

Because he's never Finnish.