How do you start a joke about Vladimir Putin?

By looking over your shoulder.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How do you start a teddy bear race?

Ready teddy go!

What do you call an alligator that starts something?

An insti-GATOR!

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How can you tell a lawyer is lying?

Other lawyers look interested.

What is that you're having for lunch?

Me: fruit salad H: That's funny, it looks like a sangria. Me: huh, weird *sips fruit salad*

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why is it never safe to tell a joke about corn?

A corn has ears.

What's the deal with Jerry Seinfeld?

Did you ever notice he seems to start off all of his jokes in one of two ways

Shoulder Jokes More Shoulder Jokes

What is the worst part of a prostate exam?

Feeling the doctor's hands on your shoulders.

How can you tell when a white guy is about to tell a joke?

He glances over his shoulder.

Vladimir Putin Jokes More Vladimir Putin Jokes

What did Vladimir Putin say after dropping a smashing one-liner?

Putout

Why is everyone afraid of Vladimir Putin?

Because Vlad is Putin everyone in their place.