Why did the Russians use peanuts for torture in the Cold War?

Because in Soviet Russia, Nut Cracks You!

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Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

Why did the Russian man get food poisoning?

Because NE-coli.

Why is Quicksilver so fast?

Because he's Russian

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do bees use to do their hair?

Honeycombs!

What did Obe Wan say to Skywalker when he was teaching him table manners?

Use the forks Luke.

Russia Jokes More Russia Jokes

Why does Edward never leave Russia?

He's always Snowden.

Why did Russia lose the race?

Because it was Stalin! (Sorry. Communist jokes aren't funny unless every gets them.)

Soviet Jokes More Soviet Jokes

What do communists put in their soup?

Soviet Onions.

Why did the Soviets decide to be Russian?

Cuz they got tired of Stalin.

Torture Jokes More Torture Jokes

Why did the CIA torture the Russian wasp?

Because he was a cagey bee agent.

Why did the Russians use peanuts for torture in the Cold War?

Because in Soviet Russia, Nut Cracks You!

Peanut Jokes More Peanut Jokes

Why are elephants so poor?

Because they work for peanuts

Why are Gorillas underpaid?

They're willing to work peanuts!

Cold War Jokes More Cold War Jokes

Why did the cold war last so long?

The US couldn't stop Stalin.

Why was it so easy to find the buried communist treasure after the Cold War?

Because X Marx the spot.

Soviet Russia Jokes More Soviet Russia Jokes

What was Carl Sagan really trying to say about the brain?

In Soviet Russia, consciousness regulates the cerebral cortex.

How many Soviets does it take to change a light bulb?

None! In Soviet Russia, light bulb changes you!