Why did the Russians use peanuts for torture in the Cold War?

Because in Soviet Russia, Nut Cracks You!

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Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

What's the name of the Russian Bee Gees cover band?

KGBGs

What do you call a Russian barber?

A Brussian.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?

A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)

What did Obe Wan say to Skywalker when he was teaching him table manners?

Use the forks Luke.

Russia Jokes More Russia Jokes

Why didn't Edward leave Russia?

Cause he was snowden.

What is Justin Timberlake's favorite river in Russia?

Crimea River

Soviet Jokes More Soviet Jokes

Which country has the most crying people per km?

The Soviet Onion

What was Carl Sagan really trying to say about the brain?

In Soviet Russia, consciousness regulates the cerebral cortex.

Torture Jokes More Torture Jokes

Why did the Russians use peanuts for torture in the Cold War?

Because in Soviet Russia, Nut Cracks You!

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

Peanut Jokes More Peanut Jokes

Why do you have rashes every time you get your salary?

Employee: I am allergic to peanuts.

What did the peanut say to his wife before he left?

I'll be back in a jiffy

Cold War Jokes More Cold War Jokes

Why was it so easy to find the buried communist treasure after the Cold War?

Because X Marx the spot.

Why did the Cold War never happen?

Because Joseph was Stalin.

Soviet Russia Jokes More Soviet Russia Jokes

Why didn't anyone drive stick in Soviet Russia?

They were afraid of Stalin.

What fabric is worn in Soviet Russia?

Linen