Torture Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

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What do you call the feeling of being a tortured insect?

Antagony

Why did the CIA torture the Russian wasp?

Because he was a cagey bee agent.

Why did the Russians use peanuts for torture in the Cold War?

Because in Soviet Russia, Nut Cracks You!

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What is the difference between a banjo and a chain saw?

A chain saw has a dynamic range.

Why did Mr. T reject Marxism?

Because Marx said "You have nothing to lose but your chains."

Unwilling Agnostic Jokes More Unwilling Agnostic Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How do you scare a man?

Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.

Why have all these complete strangers started to poke around outside my window?

They wanna peek-a-chu.

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How do you know when someone's read the Game of Thrones books?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

What happened to the performer who read poetry to terminally ill patients?

He suffered an elegiac reaction.

Insomniac Jokes More Insomniac Jokes

What do you get when you mix an Insomniac a Dyslexic and an Agnostic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog

Why did the insomniac get arrested?

He resisted a rest.

Cia Jokes More Cia Jokes

Why couldn't the ex-CIA agent leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden

Where does the CIA buy its groceries?

Whole Foods

Soviet Russia Jokes More Soviet Russia Jokes

Why didn't anyone drive stick in Soviet Russia?

They were afraid of Stalin.

What fabric is worn in Soviet Russia?

Linen

Question Jokes More Question Jokes

What is the only correct answer to the question 'Are you ticklish?

I have explosive diarrhea.

How many 1st AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Why are you asking me that question Can't you see I'm busy!