Torture Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

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What do you call the feeling of being a tortured insect?

Antagony

Why did the CIA torture the Russian wasp?

Because he was a cagey bee agent.

Why did the Russians use peanuts for torture in the Cold War?

Because in Soviet Russia, Nut Cracks You!

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Russia Jokes More Russia Jokes

What was Carl Sagan really trying to say about the brain?

In Soviet Russia, consciousness regulates the cerebral cortex.

Why is Edward Snowden stuck in Russia?

Because he's snowed-in

Insomniac Jokes More Insomniac Jokes

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?

Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

What do you get if you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac?

Someone who lays awake at night, wondering if there is a dog.

Dyslexic Jokes More Dyslexic Jokes

What do you get if you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac?

Someone who lays awake at night, wondering if there is a dog.

What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic?

A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. Infinite Jest, by DFW

Infinite Jest Jokes More Infinite Jest Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic?

A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. Infinite Jest, by DFW

Grey Jokes More Grey Jokes

What grey has a wand huge wings and gives money to elephants?

The tusk fairy!

Why is there only 50 shades of grey?

Why not 5,000 What's stopping them

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Why don't blind people go sky diving?

It freaks out the dogs!

What's the difference between a dog?

One of his legs is the same.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What if earth rotates 30 times faster?

Interviewer:"If the Earth rotates 30 times faster, what will happen?" engineer:"We will get our salary everyday" :D Think Greedily Act Confidently

How do you think the unthinkable?

With an ithberg

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What's the most commonly used Muslim woman punch called?

Hijab

What's the difference between Tony Abbott and a coffee machine?

One is a cold heartless machine, used by everyone......And the other is useful with a Cafe. Gnite folks!