What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

How are dogs and addicts similar?

They both have PAWS

What do a dog and a near-sighted gynecologist have in common?

They both have wet noses.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What did the Russian soldier say when he held his newborn sibling in his hands for the first time?

You're my brother in arms!

Why is time wary of mathematicians?

They're always plotting against it.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What's the main thing a woman needs to think about when considering a potential boyfriend?

Is this the man I want my kids to spend every second weekend with?

Why did the composer spend all his time in bed?

He wrote sheet music.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

Why didn't Princess Diana have very many friends on Xbox Live?

All she does is stay on the dashboard.

Why didn't the astronauts stay on the moon?

Because it was a full moon and there was no room.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

I had a dream that I was a muffler last night.

I woke up exhausted!

What does a Knight do at night?

Nighty Night

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

What does an agnostic, dyslexic insomniac spend his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

What's the most scandalous of the wonders of the ancient world?

The Colossus of Scrotes.