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What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Whats the difference between a dead dog on the side of the road and a dead lawyer on the side of the road?

There are skidmarks before the dog.

What's the difference between a dog and a cyclist?

When you run over a dog you don't have to go back and get the GoPro.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What is your sin, my child?

Me: Twitter. Padre: Wow, if I had a nickel for every time...

What do two people with Parkinson's disease do when they meet for the first time?

They shake hands.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What's the difference between toilet paper and shower curtains?

If you answered "I don't know." I would like to tell you that I spent all day cleaning that mess up.

Why did the kleptomaniac spend so much time in Bed Bath and Beyond?

He was taking a sheet.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

How do you know when you're staying in a hillbilly hotel?

When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink," and the clerk replies, "okay, Go ahead."

What did the philanderer say to the gardener praying in the shed?

How do you stay faithful in a room full of hoes?

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

Why was the little shoe sad?

I'm here all night

Where do cows go on Friday nights?

To the moovies.

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

What are your best Sports Team jokes?

With the NHL season getting started tonight. I am wondering what are you best jokes making fun off sports teams. All Sports (Baseball,hockey,football, soccer etc).

What do you call a insomniac dyslexic agnostic?

A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog!