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Why is time wary of mathematicians?

They're always plotting against it.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

What do you call it when you smoke weed and work out at the same time?

Getting all high and mighty

Mathematician Jokes More Mathematician Jokes

Why Do Mathematicians Never Go To The Beach?

Because they got sin and cos to give them a tan.

How does a mathematician get Tan?

Sin/Cos

Plot Jokes More Plot Jokes

How did the townsfolk find out the pigeons were plotting a revolution?

They heard them in the town square saying, "Coup, coup!"

Why is time wary of mathematicians?

They're always plotting against it.