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Neighbor Cat Jokes

Why was the neighbor's cat afraid of me?

Because I ran over it with my car.

We've Got This Love Thing Down

We've Got This Love Thing Down

How's the baby?

Me: He keeps trying to shove socks thru the mail slot. Wife: Aw. His socks or yours Me: Socks is the neighbor's cat..

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Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Why does a mother carry her baby?

The baby can't carry the mother.

What is the difference between a baby and a stamp?

I don't have a stamp collection.

Shove Jokes More Shove Jokes

What did Jay Z say to Beyonce after having an ice cream shoved up his arse?

I'm feeling a bit sorbet.

What do you get when you shove an iPhone into a blender?

Apple Sauce

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What did the husband say to his wife when he tried pushing it in as much as he could, but it still wouldn't fit?

He said "I'm going to try on a different shoe size."

Why did the beer get bottled?

He was trying to dodge the draft.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What do you get when BMW, Volkswagen, and Callaway design a car together?

A Mini Golf.

What happened when the elephant sat on the car?

Everyone knows a Mercedes Bends!

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the trick to satisfying your wife or girlfriend with only 3.5 inches?

Visa or Mastercard?

Whats the last thing you want to see when youre shagging the wife?

The husband.

Sock Jokes More Sock Jokes

What's 12 inches long, stiff, full of sperm and can make a girl scream?

The sock under my bed. (I don't remember where I heard it. Can't claim ownership.)

What does it mean if you find a horse shoe?

Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why did Cinderella get kicked off her soccer team?

She kept running away from the ball.

Why did Cinderella get kicked off for the soccer team?

She kept running from the ball.