Shower Jokes

Do they follow territorial boundaries? If the Kaos Kommandos start a brawl in El Paso and it rolls over into Juarez, do they say "screw it, let Justice League of Mexico handle it"? (Sorry if this isn't technically a joke; it was my shower thought this morning and I thought it was funny.)

Why shoudn't you take you Pokemon cards to the shower?

Cuz Pikachu might Pik a Chu

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Why did the meteorologist bring a bar of soap to work?

He was expecting showers.

Why did the computer scientist die in the shower?

The shampoo bottle put him in an infinite loop.

What's the best vegetable for stepping on when you get out of the shower?

A toe-mat-o.

Why can you not shower with a Pokemon?

Because they'll Pikachu

Why did the leper return to the shower?

He forgot his head and shoulders.

Why shouldn't you shower with a Pokemon?

It might Pikachu.

Why does Peter Parker have a shower in his apartment?

He can't get out of a bath.

Why does the Pope shower with his briefs on?

He doesn't like to look down on the unemployed.

What does Spock sing in the shower?

I'll stop the world and meld with you!

Where does He-Man keep his towel?

BY THE SHOWER OF GREYSKULL!!! I wrote this joke today. Feel free to steal it.

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How many dubstep fans does it take to clean a shower?

100. 1 to actually clean the shower, and 99 to stand around and talk about how filthy it is.

Why didn't Natalie Wood take a shower on the boat?

She wanted to wash up on shore

What does a Dalek do in the shower?

EXFOLIATE!

Why did the man take a shower?

He was a thief

Who cares if you pee in the shower?

The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Why do you take baths in milk?

I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower.

What's your favorite part about being a stay-at-home mom?

Me: Showering is optional Her: HAHAHA, be serious. Me: Ok, no drug tests.

What do comic book collectors use in their hair when they shower?

Mint conditioner.

Who never gets his hair wet in the shower?

A bald man.

How do you get a hipster to take a shower?

Give them a leaky showerhead. You know, so they can avoid the main stream.

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Why shouldn't you let a Pokemon take a shower with you?

He might Pikachu.

What do you do to relax?

I enjoy people watching. - The most relaxing thing for me is singing in the shower. - I know.

How did I get here?

I'm sure my neighbors ask the same question every time they catch me in their house...taking a shower.

Why don't you take a shower with a Pokemon?

He might Peek at Chu!

Why did the prisoners switch to liquid soap in the shower?

Because it's harder to pick up.

What's the reason my shower isn't working?

You have only one second to guess the answer. No pressure.

Why did the programmer die in the shower?

He followed the shampoo instructions.

Why did the burglar take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway

What's the difference between my shower and everyone?

My shower gets turned on by me.

What does a vampire stand on after taking a shower?

A bat mat.

What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

What do you call a girl that gives head in the shower?

Brainwashed.

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Blast Jokes More Blast Jokes

Why does everyone keep saying the Boston Marathon was a tragedy?

I heard everybody had a blast.

Why don't astronauts get hungry after being blasted into space?

Because they've just had a big launch.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What does a television have in common with a rabbit?

His ears! Yes, this is a real joke I got from a Laffy Taffy wrapper today, not 30 years ago. I did not laugh.

How are you today?

Me: Tim.

Airplane Jokes More Airplane Jokes

What did the doctor say to the airplane that has canser?

It's terminal.

Why did Jesus run off the airplane?

He didn't like the Pilate

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

Why is a restless man in bed like a lawyer?

Because he lies on one side and then turns around and lies on the other one.

How you turn a washer into a snow blower?

Hand her a shovel

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline?

You take your shoes off before you step on a trampoline Probally heard this but it's worth a shot

What happens when business is slow at a medicine factory?

You can hear a cough drop.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm?

It has a blue light!

What did the blonde say when she looked down at her bowl of Cheerios?

Look, donut seeds!

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why couldn't the clock be kept in jail?

Because time was always running out.

When do clocks die?

When their time is up.

Dubstep Fan Jokes More Dubstep Fan Jokes

How many dubstep fans does it take to wash a car?

One hundred and one. Two to wash it, one to dry it, and ninety eight to talk about how dirty it was.

How many dubstep fans does it take to clean a shower?

100. 1 to actually clean the shower, and 99 to stand around and talk about how filthy it is.