Practice Jokes

What is an umbrella doing in the shower?

Practicing

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What is Serena Williams' favorite time to practice?

Tennish

What move does the karate kid practice the most?

He wax off everyday

What's the one thing pacifism and Hinduism have in common?

Those who practice them don't want any beef with people.

Why is the US so much better at the accurate placement of round objects than Japan?

We had two practices in 1945

What do you call Triple H practicing for a WWE match?

Preparation H

What religion do ghosts practice?

Boo-ddhism

What is your preferred type of birth control?

Well, its not preferred, but I practice abstinence.

How do you know you can't trust doctors and lawyers?

Because they both "practice" their professions.

What martial art do cows practice?

Moo-Thai.

Why do blondes always drink with straws?

Practice.

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What did God say after she made Eve?

Practice makes perfect.

What kind of martial arts do birds practice?

Wing Chun

How do you hit those high notes?

Adam Levine: I sold my soul to the devil. Interviewer: Excuse me Adam Levine: Practice.

What type of fighting technique do amputees practice?

Partial arts.

Why do little boys whine?

Because they're practicing to be men.

Why did the boxer sprinkle cocaine on his exercise rope?

He wanted to practice the rope-a-dope.

What type music should you practice before doing something dangerous?

Safety measures.

Why would a Catholic priest start practicing at a prison?

He ran out of little boys

Why was the Sublime cover band so bad?

They don't practice Santeria.

Why should all teenagers get a case for their cell phones?

Because they should use protection to practice safe text

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Where do religious school children practice sports?

In the prayground!

Why did the music student have a piano in the bathroom?

Because he was practicing Handel's Water Music.

What is the name of the martial arts discipline that the anime girl that you are in love with practices?

Wai fu.

What would Dorothy have said if she practiced Yoga instead of new age magical thinking?

There's no place like OM.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the skull not want to go to prom, but still did?

He didn't have any *body* to go with But he still really wanted to bone.

What's the main thing a woman needs to think about when considering a potential boyfriend?

Is this the man I want my kids to spend every second weekend with?

Rubber Jokes More Rubber Jokes

How many kids do you think Wolverine has?

Because a vasectomy would heal in seconds and he doesn't look like he'd wear a rubber or pull out.

Why can't pencils have babies?

Because they have rubbers on their end.

Prefer Type Jokes More Prefer Type Jokes

What is your preferred type of birth control?

Well, its not preferred, but I practice abstinence.

What's Alex's (from 'A Clockwork Orange') preferred type of light?

Ultraviolent

Strike Jokes More Strike Jokes

Why did the rabbits go on strike?

They wanted a better celery!

What time is it when a clock strikes thirteen?

Time to get it fixed.

Wax Jokes More Wax Jokes

How do you know if the moon is waxing or waning?

If it's waning you'll get weally weally wet.

Why did the bee started talking poetry?

He was waxing lyrical!

Dagobah Jokes More Dagobah Jokes

Why does Yoda like having a lot of things to do?

It makes his Dagobah faster.

What do Jedi sheep sound like?

Dagobah.

Mountain Climber Jokes More Mountain Climber Jokes

What did the mountain climber name his horse?

Everest. Any time he is bored I see him Mount Everest.

What did the mountain climber name his son?

Cliff.

Couple Jokes More Couple Jokes

What do you call a couple of ones and zeros orbiting around each other?

Binary stars.

What was the most successful love story in Game of Thrones?

Shireen. She was only on Tinder for a couple of minutes.