Practice Jokes

What is an umbrella doing in the shower?

Practicing

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What is Serena Williams' favorite time to practice?

Tennish

What's the one thing pacifism and Hinduism have in common?

Those who practice them don't want any beef with people.

What do you call Triple H practicing for a WWE match?

Preparation H

What do you call couples that practice pulling out as a method of contraception?

Parents.

What religion do ghosts practice?

Boo-ddhism

How do you know you can't trust doctors and lawyers?

Because they both "practice" their professions.

What martial art do cows practice?

Moo-Thai.

What did God say after she made Eve?

Practice makes perfect.

What kind of martial arts do birds practice?

Wing Chun

How do you hit those high notes?

Adam Levine: I sold my soul to the devil. Interviewer: Excuse me Adam Levine: Practice.

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What type of fighting technique do amputees practice?

Partial arts.

Why do little boys whine?

Because they're practicing to be men.

What type music should you practice before doing something dangerous?

Safety measures.

Why was the Sublime cover band so bad?

They don't practice Santeria.

Where do religious school children practice sports?

In the prayground!

Why did the music student have a piano in the bathroom?

Because he was practicing Handel's Water Music.

What is the name of the martial arts discipline that the anime girl that you are in love with practices?

Wai fu.

What would Dorothy have said if she practiced Yoga instead of new age magical thinking?

There's no place like OM.

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Contraception Jokes More Contraception Jokes

What do you call people who use the "pull out" method for contraception?

Parents.

What do you call couples that practice pulling out as a method of contraception?

Parents.

Sue Jokes More Sue Jokes

Why did the post office get sued?

For Mail-Practice!!

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, one to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the one explorer say to the other when they arrived in Northern Canada?

Eh, you take this one. I don't want Nunavut. PS: I realize it's a double negative.

What did the Baskin-Robbins manager say to the employee that wanted to date a co-worker?

Don't poop where you scoop.

Wax Jokes More Wax Jokes

What did the wick say to the wax?

I candel you.

What do you call a crayon without any wax?

A crayoff

Dagobah Jokes More Dagobah Jokes

What do Jedi sheep sound like?

Dagobah.

Why does Yoda like having a lot of things to do?

It makes his Dagobah faster.

Beef Jokes More Beef Jokes

What do chicken, beef and Russia have in common?

They are all against Turkey

What do you call beef that's been burned?

A mis-steak.

Strike Jokes More Strike Jokes

Why don't matches play baseball?

One strike, and they're out.

Why does lightning always strike trees?

They are the path of leaf resistance.

Parent Jokes More Parent Jokes

What do you call Bruce Lee's mom when she's making obvious statements?

A parent, Lee.

What does a parent say to their boy who keeps missing the toilet?

Urine trouble.