What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What does a Chicago police officer and a professional skateboarder have in common?

They both shred footage. (*be gentle, it's my first time.*)

Why do traffic lights never go swimming?

Because they spend too much time changing.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Where are the raisins today?

A student used to give his teacher some raisins everyday. He kept giving them for 3 months straight. Then one day he did not give raisins to his teacher. And his teacher asked him "Where are the raisins today?", and the boy said "My rabbit died."

Why is the Math Book so sad?

It has so many problems! -Sorry doing a whole bunch of math today and i thought of this.

M Jokes More M Jokes

How many Steam employees does it take to change a light bulb?

Honestly Im not sure, they havent got back to me yet. It's been 3 weeks.

Whats the difference between a Doctors Without Borders hospital and ISIS?

How would I know, Im just a US Air Force Operator.

Shower Jokes More Shower Jokes

Why can you not shower with a Pokemon?

Because they'll Pikachu

What do a prison and a concentration camp have in common?

In both people don't feel like showering.

Itune Jokes More Itune Jokes

What's the Pope iTunes play-list name?

Pray-list.

What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

W Jokes More W Jokes

Whatya doin?

Me: I fixed the toilet so I'm adding Potty Fixer to my resume W: You mean Plumber M: DO I LOOK LIKE A HOUSE SCIENTIST

Who is the prettiest of my friends?

Me: your mother, why W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again.