What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why do some writers have a hard time graphing equations?

Because they spend too much time with the x-position

Which his guide had proposed to climb. - Do people tumble down often here?

No, the guide said, one time is usually enough.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What is the recipe for honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone, without dressing. I remembered this today from a joke book I had when I was a kid. Wasn't sure if it should be here or /r/dadjokes

What does a television have in common with a rabbit?

His ears! Yes, this is a real joke I got from a Laffy Taffy wrapper today, not 30 years ago. I did not laugh.

M Jokes More M Jokes

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

Who's Leonardo DiCaprio's least favorite Sesame Street character?

Oscar im so sorry

Shower Jokes More Shower Jokes

What's the reason my shower isn't working?

You have only one second to guess the answer. No pressure.

What does a vampire stand on after taking a shower?

A bat mat.

Itune Jokes More Itune Jokes

What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

What's the Pope iTunes play-list name?

Pray-list.

W Jokes More W Jokes

Why was the blonde fired from the M&ampM factory?

She threw out all the W's.

Why did the worker at the M&ampM factory get fired?

He threw out the W's