What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

Previous Random Joke Next
Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time was it?

A quarter to three.

What do the Lannisters and Alice in Chains have in common?

They pay their debts on time.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Why did I wear no jeans today?

My supply was short.

What do you call a shoe with no grip?

A slipper. (Made this up today, but almost definitely will have been made up before by someone else)

M Jokes More M Jokes

Whats a gf?

Mom: if youre a good boy, youll get one when youre older. Son: What is Im not a good boy? Mom: Youll get many.

What'd u ask Santa for 6: a speed boat M: like a Lego boat?

6: no M: oh for the bath 6: no M: the pool 6: *doesnt break eye contact* no

Shower Jokes More Shower Jokes

Why does the Pope shower with his briefs on?

He doesn't like to look down on the unemployed.

What's the best vegetable for stepping on when you get out of the shower?

A toe-mat-o.

Itune Jokes More Itune Jokes

What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

What did Darth Vader do when his iTunes stopped responding?

He force quit.

W Jokes More W Jokes

What's this payment?

Me: we're sponsoring a panda! W: so is this monthly M: No, it's just for the one skydive

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?

For throwing out all the w's.