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What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do a frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant girl have in common?

Failure to pull out in time

How many times do you have to tickle a squid to make it laugh?

Ten tickles

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What's up with that horse?

Sees a giraffe for the first time Okay, what the hell is going on today

Where's Wally?

Book today but couldn't find one anywhere. Well played, Wally. Well played.

M Jokes More M Jokes

What word starts with M and ends in arraige and is a man's favourite thing?

Miscarriage. This joke never gets old, just like the baby.

What would you like?

ME:What would YOU like W:Excuse me M:No one ever asks you, do they W:*tearing up* No.. they don't. Thank you.

Shower Jokes More Shower Jokes

Why should you never take a shower with a Pokémon?

Because it may Pikachu.

How do you get a hipster to take a shower?

Give them a leaky showerhead. You know, so they can avoid the main stream.

Itune Jokes More Itune Jokes

What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

What's the Pope iTunes play-list name?

Pray-list.

W Jokes More W Jokes

Why did the worker at the M&M factory get fired?

He threw out the W's

What starts with "W" and ends with "ife"?

Nevermind, this riddle is too easy.