When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what will I be. Will I be pretty, will I be rich?

Here's what she said to me: GO TO SLEEP.

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What does Bill Cosby do when he can't sleep at night?

He finishes her drink EDIT: Apparently this is Conan's joke, so all credit goes to him. I just heard it from a friend of mine and I had no idea.

How can a man go 7 days without sleeping?

Sleep at night

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How many times can you celebrate a 29th birthday before people catch on?

Asking for a friend

What did little Paul Bunyan say when his mom asked him how he damaged his favorite toy?

It was an ax-I-dent.

Little Girl Jokes More Little Girl Jokes

What does the Pope Jean-Paul 2 and the little girl kidnapped by Boko Haram have in common?

The pope died a virgin

What did the little girl say when opened up a box of Cheerios?

Awww, look daddy, doughnut seeds!!!

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

Why was the animal unhappy?

He had a ruff week.. His life wasn't purrfect. His brother was a shellout. His mother's been a real crab lately. His family was really shellfish. He had no porpoise in life.

Why was the little bear so spoiled?

Because its mother panda'd to its every whim!