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What do you call an elevator with a group of slim, softly spoken, intelligent people inside?

A Lift (only a joke, my American friends)

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American Jokes More American Jokes

What do you get when American pioneers develop a video game?

They manifest Destiny

What did the Israelite say to the American when offering him a drink?

Here, try this, Israeli refreshing!

Speak Jokes More Speak Jokes

What language do farsighted people speak?

Farsi.

What language do they speak in Holland?

Hollandaise.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

Why wasn't Michael Jackson allowed to perform at the children's hospital?

Because he is dead. ((I came up with this joke when I was very tired.))

Group Jokes More Group Jokes

What is the collective noun for a group of depressives?

A melancolony

What do you call a group of rabbits, standing single file, hopping backwards?

A receding hare line!

Elevator Jokes More Elevator Jokes

What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something.

What is a burp?

A fart taking the elevator.

Lift Jokes More Lift Jokes

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about.2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

Who was Mr Rogers' weight lifting coach?

Arnold Schwarzeneighbor (OC)