What do you call a group of philosophers?

An argument.

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Group Jokes More Group Jokes

What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit?

The first herd shot round the world!

Why should you never trust advice from a group of gryphons?

Half of them are lyin'.

Philosopher Jokes More Philosopher Jokes

How do you get a philosopher off your porch?

Pay him for the pizza.

What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic?

A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. Infinite Jest, by DFW

Argument Jokes More Argument Jokes

When do you REALLY know you need to break up with you GF?

When she starts winning arguments with you inner-voice.

What does an empathetic kleptomaniac do in an argument?

He puts himself in the other person's shoes and then walks away.