Argument Jokes

What is it called when two Vegans get into an argument?

A Beef

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When do you REALLY know you need to break up with you GF?

When she starts winning arguments with you inner-voice.

What do you get when you cross an atheist and a christian?

An argument

What do you call a group of philosophers?

An argument.

What is a rift valley?

Valleys that have fallen out after an argument.

Why shouldnt you ever have an argument with Mbius?

Because theyre always so one sided!

What does an empathetic kleptomaniac do in an argument?

He puts himself in the other person's shoes and then walks away.

What do you get when an argument occurs on a camping trip?

A tents atmosphere

What do you call an invalidation of someone's argument because they cannot differentiate between their and they're?

Ad homonym

What's not there when you get into an argument, but there when you lose the argument?

The door.

Why fist fights break out at NASA?

Sometimes an argument of perihelion will get out of hand.

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Why should you never get into an argument with a dictionary?

Because they'll always have the last word.

Why do mimes always lose arguments?

They don't have a say in anything!

Why shouldn't you ever have an argument with Mobius?

Because they're always so one sided!

What do you call the amount of time it takes to win an argument with a lawyer?

An attornity.

Why do vampires hate arguments?

Because they make themselves cross.

How do you tell if you've lost an argument on Facebook?

Well first you're are in an argument on Facebook.

What do you call it when two high people get in an argument?

A pot roast.

What phrase is a compliment in America, but an argument in the Middle East?

No, YOU the bomb.

Why can't a vegetable win an argument?

Cuz he always uses a straw, man!

What's 8 feet tall, covered in fur, and walks around the Himalayas undermining your arguments by attacking your character?

The Adhomineminal Snowman

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What is the Pope's favorite type of woman?

Nun

Why was the woman so attached to her Dr. Scholl's gel insert?

OC It was her sole comfort.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What does a skeptic chemist say when he hears a baseless argument?

No lye?

Why do they wear skirts in New Zealand?

Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Person Shoe Jokes More Person Shoe Jokes

What's the difference between an introverted mathematician and an extroverted mathematician?

The extrovert looks at the other person's shoes.

What does an empathetic kleptomaniac do in an argument?

He puts himself in the other person's shoes and then walks away.

Door Jokes More Door Jokes

Why do chicken coops only have two doors?

Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans

Why is it possible for a door to be made out of kittens?

Because they are a-door-able.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Who's there! Billy Bragg! Billy Bragg who?

Billy Braggs too much tell him to stop it!

How do you tell who loves you more. Your wife or your dog?

Put both of them in the trunk of your car...drive around...open the trunk and see who is happy to see you.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?

A pineapple!

Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.

Woman Argument Jokes More Woman Argument Jokes

What's the difference between a woman's argument and a knife?

A knife has a point.

Beef Jokes More Beef Jokes

What did the mad cow say to the other cow?

You don't want beef with me

What do chicken, beef and Russia have in common?

They are all against Turkey