Argument Jokes

What is it called when two Vegans get into an argument?

A Beef

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When do you REALLY know you need to break up with you GF?

When she starts winning arguments with you inner-voice.

What do you get when you cross an atheist and a christian?

An argument

What do you call a group of philosophers?

An argument.

What is a rift valley?

Valleys that have fallen out after an argument.

Why shouldnt you ever have an argument with Mbius?

Because theyre always so one sided!

What does an empathetic kleptomaniac do in an argument?

He puts himself in the other person's shoes and then walks away.

What do you get when an argument occurs on a camping trip?

A tents atmosphere

What do you call an invalidation of someone's argument because they cannot differentiate between their and they're?

Ad homonym

What's not there when you get into an argument, but there when you lose the argument?

The door.

Why fist fights break out at NASA?

Sometimes an argument of perihelion will get out of hand.

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Why should you never get into an argument with a dictionary?

Because they'll always have the last word.

Why do mimes always lose arguments?

They don't have a say in anything!

Why shouldn't you ever have an argument with Mobius?

Because they're always so one sided!

What do you call the amount of time it takes to win an argument with a lawyer?

An attornity.

Why do vampires hate arguments?

Because they make themselves cross.

How do you tell if you've lost an argument on Facebook?

Well first you're are in an argument on Facebook.

What do you call it when two high people get in an argument?

A pot roast.

What phrase is a compliment in America, but an argument in the Middle East?

No, YOU the bomb.

Why can't a vegetable win an argument?

Cuz he always uses a straw, man!

What's 8 feet tall, covered in fur, and walks around the Himalayas undermining your arguments by attacking your character?

The Adhomineminal Snowman

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What do you call a funny hill?

Hilarious... My little sister told me this and I wasn't expecting it at all.:

Who should get the cat?

I don't know...let's see who he loves the most" 3 weeks later Can you tell "Nope"

Calm Jokes More Calm Jokes

Why are doctors always calm?

They have a lot of patients. Sorry.

How do you calm down an astronaut?

You give him space.

Valley Jokes More Valley Jokes

What is a rift valley?

Valleys that have fallen out after an argument.

What is Bear Grylls' favorite snack brand?

Nature's Valley

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why didn't you answer your home phone?

Because I'm walking the dog. Don't you trust me -Of course I trust you! Put the dog on the phone.

Why do they call it the XBOX 360?

Because you turn 360 and walk away!!

Door Jokes More Door Jokes

Who's there! Canon! Canon who?

Canon open the door then

What do you call a lightbulb that holds the door for you?

A polite bulb.

End Jokes More End Jokes

Why did the business dog chase his tail?

So he could make ends meet!

When I have complicated problems I always ask myself, what would my imaginary wife do?

And then I end up buying myself cupcakes, and shoes.

Atheist Jokes More Atheist Jokes

What do you get if you cross a Green Lantern, a car and an atheist?

Willing suspension of disbelief.

What is so ironic about Atheists?

They're always talking about God.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What do you call an elephant the circus no longer needs?

Irrelephant.

Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?

Rude"olph