Argument Jokes

What is it called when two Vegans get into an argument?

A Beef

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When do you REALLY know you need to break up with you GF?

When she starts winning arguments with you inner-voice.

What do you call a group of philosophers?

An argument.

What is a rift valley?

Valleys that have fallen out after an argument.

Why shouldnt you ever have an argument with Mbius?

Because theyre always so one sided!

What does an empathetic kleptomaniac do in an argument?

He puts himself in the other person's shoes and then walks away.

What do you get when an argument occurs on a camping trip?

A tents atmosphere

What do you call an invalidation of someone's argument because they cannot differentiate between their and they're?

Ad homonym

What's not there when you get into an argument, but there when you lose the argument?

The door.

Why fist fights break out at NASA?

Sometimes an argument of perihelion will get out of hand.

Why should you never get into an argument with a dictionary?

Because they'll always have the last word.

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Why do mimes always lose arguments?

They don't have a say in anything!

Why shouldn't you ever have an argument with Mobius?

Because they're always so one sided!

What do you call the amount of time it takes to win an argument with a lawyer?

An attornity.

Why do vampires hate arguments?

Because they make themselves cross.

How do you tell if you've lost an argument on Facebook?

Well first you're are in an argument on Facebook.

What phrase is a compliment in America, but an argument in the Middle East?

No, YOU the bomb.

Why can't a vegetable win an argument?

Cuz he always uses a straw, man!

What's 8 feet tall, covered in fur, and walks around the Himalayas undermining your arguments by attacking your character?

The Adhomineminal Snowman

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Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?"

Pop,goes the weasel.

Who do you call about stray cats walking around your yard?

Brian Setzer

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the party?

I told her that drinks were on the house

Why do cows like being told jokes?

Because they like being amoosed!

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why was 'EE' acting so funny?

He needed to 'P'

How many plates do you need to draw a picture?

Tenplates

Stab Jokes More Stab Jokes

How did you get malaria from a stab?

Malaryan Steel.

Why do Lannisters hate turtles?

Cause they can't stab them in the back

Camping Trip Jokes More Camping Trip Jokes

What do you get when an argument occurs on a camping trip?

A tents atmosphere

What do you call the memory of a camping trip?

Past Tents

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

What do the Irish do after winning the World Cup?

They proceed to Chapter 9: The Dark Mark

What colour T-shirt would win a race?

Red, because it runs the most.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

When I was kid, and we'd go sledding on a cold snowy day, Ya know how often I had to rub my hands together to stay warm?

Intermittenly.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scottish sheep farmer?

One says, 'Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!' The other says 'Hey! MacLeod! Get off of my ewe.'

What's the difference between a fish and an elephant?

OC) You really can't tell the difference between a fish and an elephant