Atheist Jokes

Why aren't any atheists buying a PS4 Pro?

They don't believe in higher power.

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Why don't atheists use exponents?

Because they don't believe in higher powers.

What do you call an atheist who no longer worships the Flying Spaghetti Monster?

A-pasta-ate.

How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They don't believe in a higher power.

Why can't Atheist solve exponential equations?

Because they don't believe in higher powers

Why Can't Atheists Solve Exponential Equations?

Because they don't believe in higher powers.

What can both Christians and Atheists agree on about Jesus?

Kanye's not him.

What do you get when you mix a Jehovah's Witness with an Atheist?

Someone who shows up to your door for no reason.

What do you get if you cross a Green Lantern, a car and an atheist?

Willing suspension of disbelief.

Why did the atheist fail algebra?

He didn't believe in higher powers!

How does an atheist start their prayers?

To Whom It May Concern

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What do you call a god who lacks self-confidence?

An atheist. He doesn't really believe in himself.

Why does God love atheists?

Because they don't bother Him with incessant prayer.

What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's Witness?

Someone knocking at your door for no apparent reason.

Why can't atheist solve exponential problems?

Because they don't believe in higher powers.

What do you get if you breed a Green Lantern, a car and an atheist?

Willing suspension of disbelief

What does an insomniac, philosopher, atheist, dyslexic do at night?

Lay awake, contemplating the existence of Dog.

Why can't atheists solve quadratic equations?

They don't believe in higher powers.

Why can't atheists solve exponential problems?

Because they don't believe in higher powers.

What did the atheist say when he found himself at the Pearly Gates the day he died?

Well I'll be damned!

Why are atheists afraid of exponents?

They don't believe in a higher power.

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Fail Jokes More Fail Jokes

Why did the T-Rex fail his business project?

He couldn't make hands meet.

Why did the student fail his physics test?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

Pasta Jokes More Pasta Jokes

Why did the Pasta join a dating website?

Because he was cannelloni.

What do you call a goat that likes cheese with their pasta?

Maaaac

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What makes you think you can criticise American gun laws, sitting over there in the UK?

I was asked on an internet forum. "Because you're not allowed to take them on planes," I answered.

Why Colonel had a bunch of underwears?

Because, Brigadier General asked him to debrief his team.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many Mennonites does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven - one to actually change the bulb and six to complain that they liked the old one better.

How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What dog can tell the time?

A watch dog!

Why did the dog go to the vets?

He was pawly. I'm sorry.

Guarantee Jokes More Guarantee Jokes

What if weight loss supplements ads are just made by British people really transparently trying to scam you?

You'll lost 30 for only $42.82! Guaranteed.

Which space on a Battleship grid guarantees victory?

Exponential Equation Jokes More Exponential Equation Jokes

What did the exponential equation say to the linear equation?

Real graphs have curves.

Why can't Atheist solve exponential equations?

Because they don't believe in higher powers

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many politicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

You hold the lightbulb and every politician screws you!

How many nihilists does it take to change a lightbulb?

They don't see the point and just sit in the dark.