Why couldn't the NSA whistleblower leave Moscow?

He got snowed in.

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What did the tailor say after a job well done?

There is nothing left too loose.

What gas leaves a pirate speechless?

Argon

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What did the NSA agent say to the other NSA agent when he saw the German Chancellor?

I'd tap that.

Why didn't the NSA request AT&T's phone records?

Because they can't monitor all those dropped calls!

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Why couldnt the NSA whistle blower leave Russia?

He was snowed in

Why didn't the NSA agent cross the road?

He was snowed in.

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Why couldn't the man leave Moscow?

He was Snowden.

What is the most popular style in Moscow salons?

A brushin.

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Why didn't Russia return the NSA whistleblower to the United States?

He was Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA whistleblower leave Russia?

He was snowed in.